Modern Mayhem CO

Modern Mayhem CO Healthy Home. Busy Life. Real Balance.

06/06/2026

☕️ If Your Coffee Doesn't Cause Mild Time Travel, Is It Even Working? 😳

I know I'm about to offend some people here... but I don't think America has the strongest coffee. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Last night I drank TWO Greek frapes and was absolutely WIRED. I felt like I could hear colors and solve crimes. 🤯

I didn't fall asleep until almost 1:00am and now I'm paying for my poor life choices this morning. ☠️

Greek coffee is amazing though. And there's a Vietnamese restaurant by my house that serves Vietnamese coffee that's so good it should probably require a waiver. 🤤

It takes like 20 minutes to make and you literally sit there watching it slowly drip into your cup like:
👀☕ "Come on little buddy... change my life."

Meanwhile, back in the day, Sweet T and I used to make TWO pots of coffee every morning and somehow drink all of it!! Meanwhile our dry plants were watching us pour water into the coffee maker and contemplating our murders 😏

And when I worked downtown, I'd get an espresso milkshake with espresso grounds on top.

You know you've built up a caffeine tolerance when you're EATING your coffee. 🤣

So tell me...

☕️ Hot or iced?
☕️ Black or loaded with cream and sugar?
☕️ Fresh coffee or reheated 7 times throughout the day?
☕️ Favorite coffee shop?
☕️ Ever tried whipped coffee?

And who makes the BEST coffee you've ever had?

Drop your answers below before I go make another bad decision. 👇🫣

The ONLY thing I love about grocery shopping for what feels like a family of 10 is showing up early and hunting down all...
06/05/2026

The ONLY thing I love about grocery shopping for what feels like a family of 10 is showing up early and hunting down all the clearance deals. 🤑

I know EXACTLY where they hide them:

🥩 Discount meat
🥛 Discount dairy
🥖 Discount bakery

While other people are shopping...

I'm over here conducting a financial investigation like:
"Why is this marked down?"
"How many days do I have?"
"Can I freeze it?" 🧐

Honestly, most of the time I get groceries delivered because it's cheaper than taking myself into a store and coming home with $47 worth of things that were definitely not on the list. 🤦‍♀️

But with the kids home for summer?

Those little human garbage disposals are eating like they're training for the Olympics. 😭

I looked at this cart and thought:
"Well... there goes my paycheck."

Then I saw how much I saved and suddenly felt like an extreme couponing champion. 💪😂

Anyone else know exactly where the clearance sections are in your grocery store, or is that just a special talent we've developed trying to keep our families fed? 👇🍽️🥦🌯🍝🍚🍲👇

06/03/2026

🚨 Summer Parent Survival Question 🚨

Now that the kids are home for the summer... how are we feeding these tiny hostage negotiators all day long?! 🤔

I swear my kids just ate lunch and 14 minutes later they're standing in the kitchen like:

👦 "What's for dinner?"

Me: "The lunch you just ate." 😑

What are your favorite easy grab-and-go snacks and meals to keep in the fridge?

🍓 Fruit?
🧀 Cheese sticks?
🥚 Hard boiled eggs?
🥪 Sandwich fixings?
🥒 Veggies and dip?
🍗 Leftovers?

I'm always looking for ideas that don't require me to spend half my life standing over a stove like Rachel Ray. 😩

Help a tired mom out and drop your summer snack and meal suggestions below! 👇🥰

06/02/2026

🚨 Busy Parent Life Hacks 🚨

Let's help each other out...

What's the BEST parenting shortcut you've discovered that saves your sanity? 🤔

A few of mine:

✨ Grocery pickup. Because taking kids into a grocery store is just a hostage negotiation with snacks.

✨ Double dinner. If I'm already cooking, I'm making enough for work lunch tomorrow too.

✨ The 15-minute timer. It's amazing how much cleaning gets done when you're pretending you're on a game show! I also take a picture of the room I want to clean and tell Chad she BT show me how to clean this in 15 minutes. It works great!

✨ Emergency car supplies. Snacks, wipes, extra clothes... because somebody is always sticky, hungry, bleeding, or all three.

✨ Getting the kids involved. Sure, it takes longer at first... but eventually they become unpaid interns. 😎

And my personal favorite: ❤️

✨ The "night before" reset.
Pack lunches.
Find shoes.
Charge devices.
Sign school papers.

Because nothing starts the morning off right like NOT screaming:
"WHERE IS YOUR OTHER SHOE?!" at 6:12am. 🤦‍♀️

Alright parents...

Drop your best life hacks below! 👇

Let's save each other some time, money, and therapy bills. 😂

06/01/2026

Does anyone else start out with a simple "clean out the fridge" night and end up needing a hazmat suit 🥽 and an exorcist? 😳

What's the #1 thing you end up throwing away? 🗑️

🍓 Fruit? 🥬 Vegetables? 🥡 Random Tupperware containing something that was once food but is now a thriving ecosystem?

Because I opened my fridge tonight looking for leftovers and somehow ended up in a Saw movie. 🪚🧪💀

I've been working so much lately that things got pushed so far to the back of the fridge I felt like I was crawling through the wardrobe into Narnia!

Only instead of meeting Mr. Tumnus, I found:
☠️ expired yogurt
☠️ mystery containers
☠️ something fuzzy that was definitely willing to pay rent to keep its spot in the fridge 🫣

At some point you have to stop asking:
"Is this container worth saving?"

And start asking:
"Should I update my will?" 🧐
"Do I need to call somebody?" 😳
"Is this Tupperware evidence now?" 😭

Tell me I'm not the only one discovering new life forms in the back of the refrigerator. 👇

05/31/2026

Alright parents... what do weekend breakfasts look like at your house? 🍳🥞🥣👇

Are you channeling Martha Stewart, standing over the stove for 2 hours making some healthy breakfast casserole with buckwheat, lemon zest, organic berries, and the hopes and dreams of free-range chickens? 🤪

Are you more of a Paula Deen type?
🥓 bacon
🍳 eggs
🧈 butter
🧈 extra butter
🧈 and a side of butter for your butter 😂

Or are you the:

🍽️ "Let's go out for breakfast" parent

Because pancakes somehow taste better when:
✨ somebody else cooks them
✨ somebody else serves them
✨ and most importantly...
✨ somebody else cleans up the disaster afterwards 🍽️

Worth every penny of that tip! 💰🤑

So let's hear it... 👂

What's your weekend breakfast personality? 👇

05/30/2026

Has anyone else watched Bugonia on Netflix?

I totally thought the lead was Lindsay Lohan the whole time, but it was actually Emma Stone! 🤯

Now hear me out... I honestly think this could have been Lindsay Lohan's most compelling role ever. For Emma Stone, it's more in line with the quirky, intense characters she usually plays.

That said, the movie was phenomenal. Dark sci-fi/horror with a ton of suspense. It kept my attention the entire time, which is rare these days. My mom would absolutely hate it. 🤣

And the ending? It will definitely throw you off. But that's actually what sealed the deal for me. I was smiling when it ended because it wasn't the typical Hollywood ending Americans expect. It took a different route, and I respect that.

If you've seen it, what did you think? And if you watch it because of this post, don't judge me for smiling at the end. 🫣

05/29/2026

Today is about to be the longest day ever. 😭

It's 4am and I'm about to leave for work.
My kids got out of school yesterday and apparently my oldest celebrated by sleeping until 2pm. 🙄
Not only did he miss the entire last day of school...
He also doesn't remember me calling him, waking him up, and having a full conversation with him.

Sir.
You answered the phone. You spoke words. You made promises.
Apparently I was negotiating with a sleeping hostage. 🤦‍♀️

Meanwhile my younger son spent half the night coughing, so nobody slept.

And today is the apartment pool opening.
Which means: 🏊 pool party 👫 son's girlfriend coming over 👦 extra teenagers ☕ one exhausted mom running on caffeine and blind optimism

At this point I'm just trying to make it to payday and keep everyone alive. 😳

How was everyone else's last day of school? 😂

05/27/2026

Be honest: how many phones have your kids lost?

05/26/2026

I recently got a Ring doorbell camera and now I'm over here feeling like a private sector suburban FBI agent 💼

I’m suddenly seeing people that CLEARLY live in my building but I've never seen before 🧐
Like: “Interesting… Apartment 204 leaves every day at 4:37am. What are we: A baker? A vampire? A gym psychopath?” 🧛🏻‍♂️

How is the lady from 306 getting 14 Amazon packages a day?! She can't afford that! 🤑 Then I'm trying to figure out what she does for work so I can quit my job and do that too 🤣

Meanwhile every time the Ring app activates while the TV is on, the outside camera pops up on the screen and suddenly we’re all watching the apartment drama like a Mexican novella. 🎥

The neighbor across the hall lets some random guy in her door and my kids and I immediately be like:
👀🍿 “Guuuuuuurl… that ain’t yo husband…” 😯

Every time a box gets delivered I’m staring at the app waiting for it to explode into glitter like a Mark Rober video. 📦🎉🎊

Then the ring community app is sending notifications all day long like: ✨ “Suspicious squirrel activity detected.” ✨ “Unknown man walking dog.” ✨ “Loud noise heard at 2am.”

And I'm over here solving cold cases trying to zoom in on my screen like "Enhance.... Enhance.... Enhance...." Even though the app can't actually do that 😂

At this point, if my apartment complex ever gets robbed I’m showing up to the investigation with screenshots, timeline notes, and witness statements like:
“Actually officer… the suspect entered at 8:42pm carrying a Taco Bell bag.” 🛍️

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