Eight Chairs

igh standards. High-dose humor. 🪑 Redefining the "WTF is happening?" years for women 40+. Wellness, wit, and zero BS. Join the Waitlist: https://eightchairs.co

05/07/2026

To everyone else, you look like you just finished a spa week.

You show up. You keep the world spinning. You handle the load so seamlessly that no one even thinks to ask if you’re okay.

But the truth? You’re just... over it.

You’re exhausted, and you’ve realized that a bubble bath isn’t going to fix a nervous system that has been running at 100% since 2018.

Our founder, , is in the trenches with you. She’s finally stopped trying to do it all alone and asked for the help she needs so she can focus on one thing: getting these functional gummies into your hands.

We aren’t here to give you more “wellness” advice. We’re here to give you the biological support you actually need to quiet the noise and finally rest.

The chairs are filling up.

Stay tired (for just a little longer).

04/27/2026

Wellness culture is failing us.

Most advice for Gen-X women is just more “to-dos.”
Touch grass. Get some sun. Breathe.

When you’re running a company and a household, a bubble bath isn’t a strategy. It’s a distraction.

I didn’t build Eight Chairs to sell you fluff.
I built it because we need real solutions that actually work.

No more sq**rt guns for house fires. Just a biological reset for the women who keep the world spinning.

The board is now in session. Take a seat.

04/15/2026

To the woman currently holding the ceiling up: Are your arms tired yet?

Let’s do a quick inventory of your brain tabs right now:

Your teenager’s existential crisis.

Your parents’ pharmacy run.

The quarterly projections that were due yesterday.

Remembering to hydrate (as if).

You are the infrastructure for everyone else. You’re the CEO of the house, the COO of your parents’ aging, and the actual Boss at work.

We talk about “self-care” like a face mask is going to fix a structural collapse. It won’t. You don’t need a spa day, you need someone to hold the ceiling for you for five minutes.

Eight Chairs isn’t another thing on your to-do list. It’s the place where the infrastructure finally holds YOU.

Get ready to put your arms down. We’re almost ready for you. 🪑

04/09/2026

I’m not waiting for the perfect lighting to tell the story.
Building Eight Chairs is the most real things I’ve done, and it includes many humbling moments.

The goal isn’t a perfectly curated feed.
The goal is an army of well-rested women.

The rest is just noise, social media included 🤭

04/07/2026

Mystery rage.
Brain fog.
3:00 AM fridge staring.

Pick one. Pick all three.
Welcome to Tuesday.

You’re not broken.
You’re in the middle of the biggest hormonal shift of your life.
No amount of “toxic wellness fluff” is going to fix a nervous system that hasn’t slept fully in years.

We’re building Eight Chairs for those Tuesdays . We’re getting close.

04/01/2026

Boardroom by day. Chief Logistics Officer by night.

Between the aging parents, the kids’ sports schedules, and the 3:00 AM mental inventory of missing shin guards—the mental load is a biological tax. It’s the reason you’re staring at the ceiling when you should be sleeping.

We aren’t here to tell you to “keep going.” We’re here to give you the rest you actually need to lead tomorrow.

Eight Chairs: Infrastructure for your recovery.

COMING SPRING. 🪑

03/26/2026

You finally found the shirt. At 11 p.m. Still needs to be washed.

Saturday is not a day of rest.

It’s a second shift in cleats.

The carpool math alone could break a person.
And somewhere between the parking lot and the sideline, the mystery rage shows up.

Not at your kid. At the shin guard. At the universe.

You’re not losing it. You’re just that busy.

Eight Chairs is for the woman holding it all together on the outside and vibrating with rage on the inside.

It’s a lot. We know.

Something to help you unclench your jaw is coming.
Link in bio.

You’ve got a seat at this table. 🪑

03/18/2026

I’m still processing what I just heard.

10 days after a C-section? At a spin class?

We have successfully gaslit an entire generation of women into thinking that “ignoring your body’s screams for rest” is a personality trait.

This isn’t health. It’s a symptom of a culture that hates seeing women still.

At Eight Chairs, we aren’t here to help you “do it all.” We’re here to help you shut it all down so you can actually recover. Because “cortisol and spite” can only carry you so far before the engine seizes.

Bragging about a nap is the flex I’m working on.

03/11/2026

I am officially running out of my own product samples.

Which means the clock is officially ticking on this regulatory red tape.

But honestly, I have a master plan. I just need one year.

If I can just navigate this hold, launch this product, and get these functional gummies into the hands of exhausted women in their 40s and 50s for one year... everything changes.

Because once you finally remember what it feels like to get 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep, no government agency on earth will be brave enough to try and take it away from you.

They can fight lobbyists. But they do not want to fight an army of well-rested Gen-X women who finally found a gummy that works.

We are still in regulatory purgatory, but I am fighting for us. Hang tight. 💙

03/09/2026

I am the most annoying person in my group chat. I actually sleep like a baby.

But my friends? They are currently running on pure cortisol and spite.

If one more wellness guru tells an exhausted woman in her 40s to cure her 42 open brain-tabs with a bubble bath and some “mindfulness,” I might actually scream.

We love a spa day, but a 60-minute facial doesn’t cure a biological need to be unconscious for 8 straight hours.

I’m building Eight Chairs because so many women need a gummy that actually works, not another breathing exercise.

Monday reminder of our purpose :)

Address

1801 East Camelback Road
Phoenix, AZ
85016

Telephone

+16022004473

Website

https://eightchairs.co/

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