06/21/2026
Father's Day has a way of inviting reflection—not only about the fathers we had, but about the fathers we needed.
Our culture has become surprisingly comfortable with fatherlessness. We know absent fathers, emotionally unavailable fathers, angry fathers, passive fathers, distracted fathers. Yet we never seem to let go of the fantasy of the father: the wise man who lovingly guides us and fiercely protects us.
When that figure is absent, unavailable, or unable to provide what we need, we adapt.
Many boys grow into men determined not to become their father and spend years defining themselves by opposition while others remain ever-present in their father’s shadow and carry this burden proudly into another generation.
Depression in men is often one of the most misunderstood forms of suffering. Many men experience it not as sadness, but as exhaustion, irritability, isolation, resentment, or a quiet sense that something is missing. It shapes relationships, health, purpose, and the way a man experiences his own life.
This Father's Day, I find myself reflecting not only on the lessons of my father and the impact of his life on the woman that I’ve become, but on the men that I’ve come to serve: my husband, my brothers, my friends, and most of all, my clients.
Many of the men I work with learned early that safety, acceptance, and emotional connection were more available through the women in their lives. These women became sources of comfort, understanding, and emotional refuge. Over time, many of these boys learned to associate goodness with accommodation. They become the men we often call "nice guys."
And while these behaviors are often praised, they come with a cost.
The cost is self-abandonment.
The world doesn’t need more nice guys; it needs honest men.
Help the nice guys around you by making room for their needs, not just their usefulness. By reminding them that their value is not determined by their ability to keep everyone happy. By encouraging them to tell the truth, even when that truth is uncomfortable. By supporting the difficult conversations that lead to real connection.
Be mindful, because the truth is, nice guys are good boys, but not yet men.
Happy Father’s Day! ❤️
