31/07/2023
I’m one of those people who likes everything just so. My environment greatly effects my internal world, and I love curating the perfect vibe in every space.
These days I live in a tiny apartment with toys and clothes scattered about. Instead of playing my own music, I repeat the (sometimes annoying) songs my children want to hear.
We go about the day trying to keep up with household chores (inevitably we’re always behind) that continue to get pushed till “tomorrow”, and I watch as the finally folded laundry gets quickly tossed back on the floor in search of a perfect outfit that doesn’t exist.
These days the ambiance that I’d love to control is more of a chaotic storm that swirls around us.
Bumped knees, half-eaten sandwiches, kisses, screams, dirty surfaces, laughter, cries, warm hugs, apologies, cuddles, tears, dancing, naps, & trying not to say “be careful!” every third sentence.
These days I blink and a month goes by - my tiny baby gets bigger & stronger, my four year old outgrows her clothes and feeds the sheep all on her own.
These are not the days of perfectly beautiful shiny spaces that are Instagram worthy. No sitting on the deck to sip a glass of wine or read a book in the quiet breeze.
But I can tell you this - it’s the most beautiful mess I’ve ever been in. Everything is richer and felt more deeply. It’s so hard and yet these are some of the best days of my life. They slip away so fast and my heart breaks and expands at the same time. I don’t ever want to imagine the day when I live in the perfectly tidy house, the one that doesn’t hold tiny voices and piles of laundry. The beautiful space without the life I hold so dear. 💜💜💜