08/07/2026
somebody in the county looked at a perfectly good tow truck and said, “this needs to be a giant infected monster foot.”
and somehow, they engineered the TOE TRUCK. 🦶🛻
it offers 24-hour toeing, promises to heel your problems, and claims no job is too corny.
the cracked yellow toenails are reinforced with sheet metal, the winch comes straight out of the heel, and there’s a full-size can of athlete’s foot powder mounted beside the toolbox like standard roadside equipment.
it’s green.
it’s ugly.
it may violate several laws of transportation and podiatry.
but when your car breaks down, this thing will show up, put its foot down, and get you back on the road.
just don’t ask the driver to pull your toe.
apparently that activates the horn.
