05/21/2026
How can I say yes to connection without losing myself?
This is a nervous system journal prompt inside The Portal this month, but honestly, it’s a question that has shaped so much of my adult life.
As a wife, and mom. Then becoming a teacher and a coach. And most importantly, as someone approaching 8 years of living alcohol-free.
Recovery changed everything for me.
Not just because I stopped drinking, but because I had to learn how to actually be with myself again. Figure out what was actually mine. Remeber how to feel things again instead of outrunning the blatant truth.
MOST IMPORTANTLY, how to stop abandoning my own needs in the name of being “good,” available, helpful, or less shiny.
I've come to learn I was shown a version of connection that wasn't genuine. For a long time, connection was reflected to me with conditions, and as constantly showing up, saying yes to please, and completely disregarding the internal truths.
And eventually it all breaks down.
Connection without boundaries isn’t connection.
It’s losing the most sacred relationship, with yourself.
Took me so many missed signals, so many mistakes, and 27 years to finally trust myself again. To stop the bu****it and actually show up for ME, my family, and my life.
So much of the work I do now (personally and professionally) is rooted in the tools I've found along the way of rebuilding trust with myself.
How to listen a little sooner. Honor my capacity, and trusting my body's song FULLY.
Learning that I can love people deeply without leaving myself behind in the process is IT. Never again will that s**t happen. I honestly feel a lot of us are learning this right now, or within your life.
The...
How can I stay open without becoming overwhelmed?
Where can I offer care without overextending?
Is there a way to stay connected to my deepest self (my values, needs, desires) while staying connected to others?
That’s the work and the practice for me.
Trust your body. Ground. And breathe.
Stay open enough to receive the wisdom.
One breath at a time.
You never know what the universe has is store.