09/07/2026
When you’ve been surrounded by people who feed off your insecurity, guarding is a brilliant survival strategy.
For ages, hypervigilance was my default. I had spent my innocent years being torn down, undermined, and held back by people who supposedly loved me. My growing confidence, potential social, athletic and educational success threatened them.
Their version of “love” wanted to keep me small, dim, and compliant because they feared losing control.
Instead of complying I built a fortress.
When genuine safety, support, and love finally appeared in my life, I couldn't fully receive them.
My heart was numb, my body tense, and I lived in my head.
My intellect knew the environment had changed, but my energy was still running defense.
Does that ever happen to you?
Instead of being present in the moment, do you find yourself projecting past betrayals onto current relationships?
Unconsciously falling into old contracting patterns?
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