The Blue Elephant

04/16/2026

04/16/2026

Being a good person doesn't mean you put up with other people's nonsense. Remember, soft hearts need some boundaries.



Healing Hearts
Live Love Laugh

04/16/2026

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04/16/2026

“I planted the seed… but God has been making it grow.” — 1 Corinthians 3:6 🙏
Not everything is yours to carry… You don’t have to fix everyone. You don’t have to change hearts. You don’t have to force what only God can do. 💜

Your role is simple... be faithful. be obedient. love well. God is the One who transforms. God is the One who softens. God is the One who saves. Release the pressure. Trust His timing. Let God be God. If you’re learning to trust God more and carry less, our devotionals and worship playlists are there to guide you—linked in our bio on page. 🙏

Is there someone you need to place back into God’s hands today?

04/16/2026

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04/16/2026

A common (but outdated) strategy is to tell children when they don’t obey us that they are making us sad. We have since realized how damaging this approach can be, as it creates a fawn response, when the child needs support. The focus is taken from the child’s emotional needs, to the adult’s. It’s a guilt trip. Pretty common in the parenting of the 80’s and 90’s but we’re working to grow from that to using tools that do support emotional intelligence and the development of empathy.

We can help children to recognize their own emotions and the emotions of others, without shaming them or making them responsible for our emotions. Simple phrases such as this one above, can create the roots of parentification and enmeshment.

Instead, acknowledge your feelings without placing blame “I’m feeling kind of frustrated and worried right now because we’re running late. I’m going to take some deep breaths so it’s easier to stay calm.”

Learn more about how to create emotional awareness and compassion in my book Finding Your Calm: A Responsive Parents Guide to Self-Regulation and Co-Regulation

Links in comments

04/16/2026

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1CDMRpe2yt/?mibextid=wwXIfr

04/13/2026

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/18aC4kzY9J/?mibextid=wwXIfr

When joy leads, everything shifts.

The atmosphere softens.
The power struggles lose their grip.
Connection deepens — not through force,
but through fun.

Because when laughter echoes louder than commands...
When silliness is allowed to sit at the table...
When your child feels like you enjoy BEING with them...

That's when trust takes root.
That's when cooperation becomes natural.
That's when the relationship begins to lead.

And joy doesn't just change them —
it changes you.

Suddenly, everything feels a little less urgent.
The meltdowns feel less catastrophic.
The mess feels less offensive.

Joy widens the lens —
and when the pressure eases,
so do we.

It reminds us that this isn't about perfection.
It's about presence.
Because your child won't remember every rule you enforced —
but they'l never forget the way it felt to be around you.

Make joy the star of the show.
That's when the real magic begins. ❤️

04/08/2026

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1ASwtRr2BD/?mibextid=wwXIfr

The body processes more than 20,000 breaths every single day, and adjusting the rhythm of these breaths acts as a natural reset for a racing mind.

1. Inhale deeply through the nose for a count of four, which allows the lungs to fully expand and oxygenate the bloodstream.
2. Hold that breath for seven seconds to let the nervous system transition into a state of stillness rather than alertness.
3. Exhale slowly through the mouth for eight seconds, creating a gentle pressure that helps lower the heart rate almost immediately.
4. Repeating this cycle four or five times signals to the brain that it is safe to shift away from a fight-or-flight response.

Taking these few minutes to focus exclusively on the mechanics of breathing provides a quiet anchor during moments of high stress.

04/08/2026

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04/08/2026

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1GkD2vc2pX/?mibextid=wwXIfr

The body processes more than just nutrients, as it also acts as a repository for the various emotional experiences we encounter throughout our daily lives. Understanding this link provides a map for finding relief when life feels particularly heavy.

• Focus on the lower back, where feelings of instability reside, by engaging in gentle spinal rotations to invite a sense of grounding and security.
• Address the chest area, which often holds onto sadness, by taking long, slow breaths that expand the ribcage and encourage a sense of openness.
• Pay attention to the hands, as constant gripping or clenching can indicate a struggle for control, which is relieved by intentionally shaking out the muscles and relaxing the palms.
• Release the knees by practicing flexibility, as rigid joints can sometimes reflect a resistance to the natural changes happening in your surroundings.

Listening to what the body conveys can offer deep insights into areas that need extra tenderness. A balanced body often serves as a foundation for a calmer mind.