04/23/2021
Since I donāt share much! A little look into my š§
This is me, makeupless, topless, havenāt showered in a few days, working from home. Something I NEVER thought Iād be doing. I felt compelled to write this because I donāt have it figured out and if this can help one person then Iām ok with that. Itās stressful, sleepless nights, a brain FULL of ideas, several ex*****on directions. Do I want to open my own studio, do I want to work for someone else, is it financially worth it, do I cut out the people that no longer serve me, are they actually supporting me. Should I always wear makeup, who is my niche, am I not posting enough, should I renovate the house. The list can go on and in every direction.
One thing that should always come first is YOUR mental health. Nothing is ever worth sacrificing it.
Something Iāve struggled with, is sharing who I am on social media because Iām very sensitive and I care WAY too much what other people think and itās stopped me from making a lot of decisions.
For those that donāt know, I worked in law enforcement until last week. I left behind my pension, my benefits, and my security. I will never talk disparagingly about my career choices but my job took a lot of light away from me and I didnāt feel like I shined as bright as I once did. My mental health deteriorated and if it wasnāt for certain people constantly talking me off the ledge I would have been deep in the dark side. Choosing to pursue an entrepreneurial life has been the scariest decision Iāve made in my life. For most who start out this way you donāt see what giving up a 9-5 feels like, as much as people sell it as a horrible choice in life itās not for many. I am a natural introvert but finding my community of like minded individuals has helped me find my voice again. Lushlookaz was once a hobby, only used as an outlet to all the negative energy I was feeling at work, never did I think I would be pursuing something so āunstableā as my family would call it. You will be seeing a lot of me, and thank you to all my clients, followers, and my family that lit a fire under my ass. I couldnāt have made through this next chapter that is going to require me to live in the uncomfortable zone.