04/23/2021
Since I donโt share much! A little look into my ๐ง
This is me, makeupless, topless, havenโt showered in a few days, working from home. Something I NEVER thought Iโd be doing. I felt compelled to write this because I donโt have it figured out and if this can help one person then Iโm ok with that. Itโs stressful, sleepless nights, a brain FULL of ideas, several ex*****on directions. Do I want to open my own studio, do I want to work for someone else, is it financially worth it, do I cut out the people that no longer serve me, are they actually supporting me. Should I always wear makeup, who is my niche, am I not posting enough, should I renovate the house. The list can go on and in every direction.
One thing that should always come first is YOUR mental health. Nothing is ever worth sacrificing it.
Something Iโve struggled with, is sharing who I am on social media because Iโm very sensitive and I care WAY too much what other people think and itโs stopped me from making a lot of decisions.
For those that donโt know, I worked in law enforcement until last week. I left behind my pension, my benefits, and my security. I will never talk disparagingly about my career choices but my job took a lot of light away from me and I didnโt feel like I shined as bright as I once did. My mental health deteriorated and if it wasnโt for certain people constantly talking me off the ledge I would have been deep in the dark side. Choosing to pursue an entrepreneurial life has been the scariest decision Iโve made in my life. For most who start out this way you donโt see what giving up a 9-5 feels like, as much as people sell it as a horrible choice in life itโs not for many. I am a natural introvert but finding my community of like minded individuals has helped me find my voice again. Lushlookaz was once a hobby, only used as an outlet to all the negative energy I was feeling at work, never did I think I would be pursuing something so โunstableโ as my family would call it. You will be seeing a lot of me, and thank you to all my clients, followers, and my family that lit a fire under my ass. I couldnโt have made through this next chapter that is going to require me to live in the uncomfortable zone.