09/03/2026
What if the part of yourself you've been trying to get rid of actually deserves your gratitude?
So many of the patterns we judge in ourselves began as adaptations.
People-pleasing may have preserved connection.
Hypervigilance may have helped anticipate danger.
Control may have created predictability.
Perfectionism may have helped us feel worthy or avoid criticism.
Anger may have created protection.
Shutting down may have helped when feeling everything simply wasn't safe or possible.
Before asking these parts to change, perhaps we first need to understand them.
Notice them.
Get curious about them.
Befriend them.
Understand them.
Honor them.
Thank them.
And then ask:
Do you still need to do this job?
Sometimes the answer is no.
But that doesn't mean this part of us has no value.
Maybe it simply needs a new role.
Hypervigilance → discernment.
Control → intentionality.
Perfectionism → devotion to meaningful work.
People-pleasing → compassion with boundaries.
Anger → courage and advocacy.
We aren't rejecting who we were.
We're allowing what once protected us to evolve alongside who we are becoming.
There is something incredibly compassionate about being able to look inward and say:
I understand why you're here.
Thank you for protecting me.
But we're safe now.
Let's find you a new job. 🤍
