The Accidental Intactivist

08/24/2026

The Onion gets it. When your nation's "standard of care" reads like a corporate quota for a Bronze Age deity, it might be time to rethink the policy.

The good news? Our data confirms the Q3 slump is real. 433 out of 500 men we surveyed said they are leaving their future sons intact. The cultural spell is breaking, and the Transparent Monster is missing its targets.

THE HEAVENS—Noting that a marked downward trend had developed this fiscal year and showed no signs of stopping, The Lord God, Creator of Heaven and Earth, reported He was concerned Monday over what He called “troubling” Q3 circumcision numbers. “Sure, with the declining birth rate, we expect...

08/23/2026

07/23/2026

We contributed a guest post for the Washington Initiative for Boys and Men newsletter detailing the current legal avenues being pursued in Oregon, Colorado, and possibly Washington State in the future.

A court hearing in Oregon scheduled for September could have implications for similarly-situated Washington

06/08/2026

Haw Haw Haw! Get it?! Wanting your fo****in back is so ridiculous you'd take one from a farm animal to get it!!!

And, the reality hiding behind the satire is far more profound than most people realize. The desire to reverse this procedure is so intense that a biotech company called Foregen is literally running animal trials right now (with sheep) to perfect regenerating actual human fo****in tissue. The punchline is barely a step away from current biomedical science.

As a data scientist who grew up with the original equipment, I always look at this stuff and ask: Why isn't this weirder to more of us?!

We treat the routine surgical removal of a functional, highly sensitive male s*x organ at birth as completely normal and boring. But a guy wanting his specialized nerve endings and gliding mechanics back? That is the joke. We've completely normalized turning a finely tuned sensory organ into a dry friction tool.

If anyone is curious about what these guys are actually trying to recover, we're about to publish the data from 500+ men documenting the reality of the "pleasure gap." It is wild what people will accept as normal until they look at the numbers. circumsurvey.online

Scientists Successfully Transplant Pig Fo****in Onto Circumcised Man https://theonion.com/scientists-successfully-transplant-pig-fo****in-onto-circumcised-man/

04/19/2026

Reporting live from the Intact Global 2026 Summit in Los Angeles with some massive news: Phase 1 of the CircumSurvey is officially complete.

This morning, we verified our 500th response. What started as a personal inquiry in Seattle has grown into a global dataset representing voices from over 20 countries. I am spending the day here in LA sharing these results with the leaders of the ge***al autonomy movement, including Eric Clopper, Georgeanne Chapin, Tim Hammond, and John Geisheker.

To mark this milestone, I have just launched our preliminary findings hub for the public to explore:
👉 https://findings.circumsurvey.online

The data is providing the "why" that the medical establishment refuses to track. We have quantified a 55% average drop in a key s*xual pleasure metric for circumcised men and documented a 60% resentment rate that is almost never mentioned in hospital brochures.

This the truth of our lived experience finally being put on the record.

Thank you to everyone who took the time to be honest and vulnerable. Your stories are the engine of this project. Now that Phase 1 is in the books, we are preparing to take this data to the next level of academic and legal advocacy.

Please take a look at the hub, share the link, and let’s keep breaking the silence.

-Tone

Phase 1 Preliminary Findings · 496 Respondents · Six Pathways · One Question, Asked Honestly

04/05/2026

Got an opinion about circumcision? Put it on the record. 📊
Less than 50 anonymous responses needed to complete Phase 1 of the largest comparative survey of intact, circumcised & restoring experiences ever assembled. 15-30 min, totally anonymous → https://circumsurvey.online

04/04/2026

Happy Fo****in Day to those who celebrate. 🎉

As a guy who accidentally got to keep his original equipment thanks to the 1970s, I usually treat today as a quiet reminder of how strange it is to be the anatomical outlier in America.

But this year, the conversation is shifting from just "weird" to
legally actionable.

While we're out here making memes, the Ge***al Autonomy Legal Defense and Education Fund (GALDEF) just dropped a 90-minute masterclass for attorneys on how to bring "impact litigation" against the medical establishment for routine infant circumcision.

They aren't just calling it a bad cosmetic choice anymore. They are
detailing the legal frameworks for battery (unconsented, unnecessary surgery on a minor) and constructive fraud (doctors pushing a profitable surgery while omitting the long-term sensory loss). They are currently fighting in the Oregon state court, arguing that laws protecting only girls from ge***al cutting violate the constitutional guarantee of equal protection.

The legal shield protecting this billion-dollar industry relies on one
massive lie: That there is no difference in sensation or function.

That is exactly what we are dismantling.

For the last few months, I've been running the CircumSurvey, capturing the actual lived realities of intact, circumcised, and restoring individuals, along with partners, parents, and healthcare
professionals who've witnessed the difference firsthand. We currently have 452 respondents on the record.

The data proves the legal argument: Intact men rate their "gliding
skin mechanics" at 4.46 out of 5. Circumcised men rate it a 1.96.

Nearly 80% of circumcised men in our study say they would leave their own sons intact. Among men actively restoring their fo****in, 100% of those who expressed a preference would keep their sons whole, with zero exceptions.

You cannot claim "no harm" when the men undergoing the procedure score the primary mechanic below 2.

We are 48 responses away from closing our Phase 1 dataset and presenting this statistical proof at the Intact Global Summit in Los Angeles in two weeks.

We need the data to back up the lawsuits. If you are intact, circumcised, restoring, a parent, a partner, or a healthcare professional who has observed the difference, I invite you to take 15 minutes to put your reality on the record.

Help us cross the finish line!

🔗 https://circumsurvey.online

(And I highly recommend checking out GALDEF's new video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNjhzJDl7yE if you want to see how the legal landscape is about to crack wide open.)

03/10/2026

We're setting a course for the future!

The countdown to the 2026 Intact Global Conference has begun! We’re excited to start introducing some of the incredible speakers who will be taking the stage. Stay tuned as we spotlight the advocates, experts, and leaders driving this important movement! Link in bio to register.