Doula Care for Dying

08/17/2026

Today at noon, I’ll be chatting with Mike Reagan of The Natural Funeral for our August Gathering Wisdom conversation with the Northeast Death Doula Network.

We’re talking about terramation (natural organic reduction): how it works, why families are choosing it, and what this option might teach us about ritual, participation, and our relationships with the people we care for after death.

I’m especially looking forward to talking learning about how we new approaches to disposition can focus on relationship, witnessing, and community at the center of deathcare.

Gathering Wisdom is one of the ways we bring death doulas into conversation with people working throughout the broader deathcare community.

If you’re a death doula or end-of-life practitioner who would like to join us for conversations like this, you can learn more about the Northeast Death Doula Network here: https://northeast-death-doula-network.circle.so/

08/06/2026

Yesterday (August 5, 2026), New York's aid in dying law went into effect. The law allows New York residents who are over the age of 18 with a terminal diagnosis and a prognosis of six months or less and able to make informed decisions about their medical care o request a prescription which would be self administered to hasten their death. Want more information? The Academy of Aid in Dying Medicine has published Everything You Need to Know About Medical Aid in Dying in New York https://www.aadm.org/newyork?blm_aid=15567 End of Life Choices New York and the Academy of Aid in Dying Medicine have partnered to support implement Medical Aid in Dying https://endoflifechoicesny.org/

End of Life Choices New York partners with individuals and organizations as they contemplate end of life issues, including medical aid in dying, to coordinate the necessary care and education so all New Yorkers can live and die with autonomy and choice, in line with their own values and wishes.

08/05/2026

Many people are surprised to learn that in Vermont, families have the legal right to care for their loved one after death.

For generations, washing, dressing, sitting with, and saying goodbye to someone who has died was something families and communities simply knew how to do. Today, those skills and even the awareness that these choices exist are much less common.

This fall, I'm honored to be teaching a three-part After-Death Care workshop alongside Lindsey Warren of Journey With Compassion and Michelle Acciavati of Vermont Forest Cemetery. Together we'll explore what after-death care looks like in Vermont, the legal and practical considerations, ways to prepare in advance, and how to support families with confidence and compassion. The series includes an in-person, hands-on workshop where participants will learn body care, rolling, shrouding, and other practical skills in a supportive environment.

Whether you're a death doula, hospice volunteer, caregiver, clergy member, healthcare professional, or simply someone who wants to better understand what is possible, this workshop is designed to help reconnect us with knowledge that belongs in our communities. No previous experience is required.

I believe that caring for someone after death can be a profound extension of caring for them in life. It isn't the right choice for every circle of care, but every community deserves to know it's a choice.

If this speaks to you, we'd love to have you join us.

Learn more and register here:

08/04/2026

One of the reasons I said yes to speaking at the Dying to Talk symposium on September 18th in Rochester, NY is because I believe people deserve more than information.

They deserve a relational container.

Over the years, I've come to see Medical Aid in Dying not as a series of legal steps to complete, but as a deeply human experience that unfolds within relationships with loved ones, physicians, hospice teams, volunteers, and community.

At this symposium, Lindsey Warren of Journey With Compassion and I will share what we've learned after years of walking alongside people choosing this path in Vermont. We'll talk honestly about the psychosocial complexities, the practical realities, and the community partnerships that make this work possible.

Whether you're an experienced death doula, a hospice volunteer, a healthcare professional, or simply someone who wants to better understand this end-of-life option, I hope you'll consider joining us.

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/dying-to-talk-tickets-1994511462475?aff=ebdssbdestsearch&fbclid=IwY2xjawTev-dleHRuA2FlbQIxMQBzcnRjBmFwcF9pZBAyMjIwMzkxNzg4MjAwODkyAAEeSagydQvzciXHtU3uAfVWUzoa0v442F0GbZGOkKpb9blvLbnmxF5k0hUlICo_aem_lw4Ay-lAz6NKnz_iz4Tl-g

07/20/2026

Today at **12:00 PM**, I'm looking forward to sitting down with Candis Best of Leaf & Water for our next Gathering Wisdom: Voices from Our End-of-Life Community conversation.

Candis will be sharing about water cremation (alkaline hydrolysis)—what it is, how it works, and why more families are considering it as part of their end-of-life planning.

Gathering Wisdom is a monthly conversation series hosted through the **Northeast Death Doula Network**, where we invite people from across the deathcare community—death doulas, hospice professionals, funeral professionals, physicians, grief workers, and others—to share their experiences and help us better understand the many ways people are caring for one another at the end of life.

If you're a death doula (or death-curious!) looking for thoughtful conversations, practical learning, and a community of colleagues, we'd love to have you join us.

I hope to see you there.

https://northeast-death-doula-network.circle.so/feed

05/26/2026

Listening to Bob Dylan's "Forever Young" being performed by hospice choir in memory of one of my clients. One of the performers recounted a story or my client hearing the hospice choir perform the song with her son. She apparently said, "I always wanted to sing you this song but didn't think I could." That got the tears flowing from me. Sing to your babies if you feel moved to my friends. You will remember it.

05/09/2026

Grief is so deeply human. We take it day by day. Moment by moment.

04/25/2026

I just shared something new on the blog, and it’s one of those posts that stayed with me long after I wrote it.

It begins with a moment I thought I had more time for… and moves into a question so many families face:
“Now what do we do?”

We don’t talk nearly enough about what happens after someone dies — and how much it can matter to have even a little clarity in those first tender hours.

This post is an invitation to begin those conversations with the people you love. Not perfectly. Not all at once. Just… to begin.

If you’ve ever wondered how to talk to your family about after-death plans, or why it even matters, I hope this offers something grounding.

https://www.doulacarefordying.com/writing/talking-to-your-family-about-after-death-plans

And if this resonates with you, I’d love to stay connected. You can sign up to receive my newsletter (and gentle prompts like this one) directly in your inbox.

Because these conversations don’t take away the grief… but they can soften the uncertainty.

With great care,
Kasey

I recently got a message that a hospice client I visited for several months had taken a turn and been hospitalized. It sounded like this might be the end and I reached out to visit. I spoke her sweet...

04/22/2026

I’ve been a bit of a homebody lately. I know it’s technically spring, but I haven’t been feeling that sense of growth and renewal the season promises just yet.

But that’s okay.

Perhaps before I’m ready to launch into what’s next, I just need some space to reflect on what this last season has brought into my life. And while I’m doing that, I’m taking the kids with me as I run errands (my daughter even took a photo of me the other day that I’ll share here). I’m carting a teething toddler around the house to soothe her while still caring for and playing with her older sister. And there has been so much art, drawing, and writing these days.

It’s a quieter kind of season. One that feels more like tending than blooming.

I met with a community member recently to talk about after-death care, and I left the conversation with something I’ve been turning over since.

​What is after death care and how do you plan for it? This post explores grief integration vs healing, values-based end of life planning, and the role of an end of life doula.

04/16/2026

What happens after someone dies is often rushed, hidden, or handed over without much conversation.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

After death care can be an intentional, meaningful part of the end-of-life experience, one that reflects our values, supports grieving loved ones, and honors the person who has died.

I’m honored to be in conversation with Michelle Acciavatti of Vermont Forest Cemetery and Lindsey Warren of Journey With Compassion as part of Patient Choices Vermont's Exit Matters series for an upcoming talk on after death care in Vermont. Together, we’ll explore what after death care is, why it matters, and what options are available, including whether home-based after death care is possible following medical aid in dying (MAiD).

If you’ve ever wondered what your choices are, or how to create a more supported and intentional experience after a death, I hope you’ll join us.

🔗 https://lp.constantcontactpages.com/ev/reg/cngajpw

Feel free to share with anyone who might find this helpful.