08/08/2026
A NOTE FROM MARY: Retire from the job of correcting people.
This week, a gentleman from another state joined one of our virtual dementia education sessions. He is caring for his wife, who is living with Alzheimer’s and lives in a memory care community.
Our topic was communication - specifically, the power of agreeing instead of arguing or correcting.
He shared that he finds himself automatically correcting his wife and trying to reorient her when she says something that isn't true or doesn't match reality. And then she becomes more agitated and upset.
I understand why we do this.
We want to tell the truth. We want to help them understand. We want to keep them oriented.
And honestly, joining someone else's reality - or allowing them to believe something that didn't happen or isn't true - can feel like lying.
As someone who was raised by two ordained ministers, I TOTALLY understand that struggle. 😂
But where I have landed - and what has brought me so much peace - is this:
I'm not lying. I'm agreeing that this is THEIR truth.
I'm speaking to the emotion. The feeling. The need.
And I'm meeting that.
Later in the week, this gentleman reached out to me over zoom.
He had tried it.
He told me:
"That thing you said to do worked."
His wife had been asking where their son was.
Their son had sadly passed away several years ago, but she doesn't remember.
He could have reminded her.
He could have told her again that their son had died.
And she would have had to experience that grief all over again.
Instead, he tried something different.
He told her their son was at a jobsite, working lots of overtime, and that he would call her when he could.
I asked, "How did she respond?"
Tears streamed down his cheeks.
"She said, 'Okay, that's good.' And we moved on to something else."
This.
This is why we do what we do.
This is why we are so driven and passionate about sharing dementia tools and supporting caregivers.
Because sometimes it's not about learning 100 new things.
Sometimes it's ONE thing.
Just one little shift in the way we respond can save hours of frustration, grief, stress and emotional pain.
So if I could encourage caregivers to try just one thing this week, it would be this:
Retire from the job of correcting your loved one with dementia.
Lay it down.
It probably won't feel natural at first. It's a new habit for most of us. It takes practice. You will forget. You'll correct them and realize afterward, "Oops. I did it again."
That's okay.
Try again.
Listen for the feeling underneath the words.
Look for the need.
Meet them where they are.
You don't have to convince them that your reality is the right one.
You can choose peace instead.
And the peace it can bring…
Worth it.
So very, very worth it. ❤️
And if you'd like to learn more practical ways to connect with someone living with dementia, come join us.
🎭 FREE IMPROV SESSION FOR DEMENTIA CAREGIVERS & FAMILIES 🎭
We are so honored to welcome Ann Marie Mohr and Project Present for a fun, interactive session exploring how improv can help us connect, communicate and meet people living with dementia where they are.
📅 Thursday, August 20th
⏰ 2:00 PM
📍 Creek Valley - Ellisville
Come learn, laugh, connect and discover a few new tools you can take home with you.
It's free, and everyone is welcome! ❤️
Because sometimes the best way to communicate isn't to correct the moment...
It's to join it.
Much love,
Mary
