30/05/2026
Not being cold. I am freezing. Always. Turns out fat is actually an incredible insulator and I removed mine. Cool cool cool.
Cozy clothes. I keep buying the smallest thing I can squeeze into because it feels like a victory, and then Sunday morning hits and I have nothing oversized and cozy to wear. I did this to myself.
Shaving my armpits. They are actual pits now. I have to like, get in there. It’s a whole thing.
Her. I was so uncomfortable in my body that I overcompensated by showing up BIG — loud, fun, magnetic, full of energy. That girl was something. Now I’m a little lazy about it and I miss her honestly. Still figuring out how to bring her with me.
The excuse. Nobody expected me to show up fully and I didn’t have to look too hard at why. That one’s not funny but it’s honest.
That’s it though.
Genuinely.
Everything I thought I’d miss — I don’t. Because the hard stuff didn’t go away when I was bigger. I just had a reason to stop looking at it.
138 lbs and still a work in progress. Just a colder, pit-shaving one.
I spent years doing it the hard way. It didn’t click until I became a therapist. If the mental piece is what you’re missing, Comment HEALING.