The Unpaid Caregiver Self Care Community

14/02/2022

28/01/2022

01/12/2021

Day 44- Am I Burnout?

As someone who has suffered from severe burnout and a long recovery after that, I can tell you that some of the signs of burnout are surprising and not common knowledge.
Before I was diagnosed with burnout, I had a string of lung issues and repeated bronchitis episodes. According to Dr. James L. Wilson, people suffering from burnout may have a series of respiratory infections, allergies, frequent colds, and asthma. While they may appear to family and friends to be lazy, that is not the case. People suffering from this level of burnout can lack optimal oxygen supplies and thus must work much harder than those with healthy adrenals.
If you are having a hard time with your memory and lose track of where you parked your car or what you were saying mid-sentence, you may very well be in burnout. Likewise, if making decisions seems overwhelming and you like decisiveness and feel like your brain is foggy, this is a sure sign that you may be suffering from burnout.
You may notice that your productivity at work is also lagging; please consult with a medical professional to discuss whether you are in burnout. Should your medical doctor not know anything about burnout, please find a naturopathic doctor. While more and more medical doctors are seemingly more knowledgeable about the adrenal glands, it is not something that they may have studied in medical school, so do not be surprised if they do not know how to diagnose you.
The bottom line is if you suffer from any of the above, please get yourself assessed so you can begin to heal from burnout if that is what you are suffering from. Please do not suffer in silence.

30/11/2021

Day 43 - Getting Ahead of Burnout

As I stated in yesterday’s post, burnout can become quite severe and have long-lasting negative impacts on your health if you are unaware that you are suffering from it. Therefore, getting ahead of it and keeping your burnout from escalating into something serious is fundamental to your health. The following are some key indicators that you may be suffering from burnout.
If you feel like everything takes you so much time and energy to get done, you may be suffering from burnout. If performing everyday items that typically did not cause you trouble are now seemingly driving your frustration levels up, please see this as a warning sign. Furthermore, when you are on your way to burnout or already suffering from lower levels of burnout, every chore and task is daunting. It feels like you are carrying the mother load behind you as you struggle to accomplish the little things in life.
Another sure sign of burnout is when you do not feel rested no matter how many hours of sleep you have had the night before. You may find yourself pressing the snooze button endlessly before you have the energy to step out of bed. You just cannot seem to shake the constant feeling of exhaustion and might not feel awake until the middle of your day. As a result, you have no energy to go out and see people or run errands. Once you start to recover, the best thing you can do is not press the sleep button, open your eyes, and sun gaze for a minute as soon as your eyes are open… more on that later.
You may also notice that you have entirely lost your ability to cope with stress. The smallest of life’s challenges begin to feel insurmountable to deal with. Ultimately, you feel like you are coming undone and are falling apart. You may experience panic attacks or feel overwhelmed with little things that you are accustomed to coping well with. You may lose your temper with your loved ones more easily.
Should these sound familiar to you, please do not despair; if you take this as a warning sign and take proactive steps to start your healing process now, you will recover. If you suspect you have burnout, please consult with a medical practitioner.

30/11/2021

Day 42- Know the Signs of Burnout

One of my missions as a coach to caregivers is to raise awareness around burnout. While everyone has heard about burnout and clearly understands it to be synonymous with caregiving, overworking, and extreme exhaustion, few people really understand just how dangerous higher levels of burnout can be. According to Dr. James L. Wilson, who wrote Adrenal Fatigue, the 21st Century Stress Syndrome, there are 4 stages to burnout. According to Dr. James, if a person reaches level 4 of burnout, they may never fully recover. I know this personally, as I have had severe bouts of burnout in years past. The truths about burnout are far less sexy than social media posts would suggest. You will want to get ahead of it and stop your burnout in its tracks before it progresses to the higher and irreversible levels.

You have two adrenal glands that sit on top of both your kidneys. While they are merely the size of a walnut, please don’t let their size fool you. Your adrenals are responsible for regulating every hormone in your body. They help to regulate your stress responses, blood pressure, and immune system. Messing with them can be an adventure that you wish you did not take. One of the signs to look for as an indicator that burnout may be in its earlier phases is when you find yourself unable to keep up with your day-to-day chores and tasks in ways that you are accustomed to. The best advice that I can give you if you are starting to feel too tired to cook, do household chores and clean the house is to not push yourself. Instead, take a step back and take time to rest your body as much as you possibly can. Stay tuned for more warning signs of burnout on Day 43.

29/11/2021

It can be pretty devastating to watch the ill or aging loved one you are caring for health's decline. Dwelling on the past and finding yourself feeling blue as a result. In the past, I would find myself wishing that my d...

29/11/2021

Day 41
Do What You Can to Create New Memories

It can be pretty devastating to watch the ill or aging loved one you are caring for health's decline. Dwelling on the past and finding yourself feeling blue as a result. In the past, I would find myself wishing that my dad could carry on a conversation with me like he used to. Regrettably, my father cannot advise me when I have a life decision to make the way he has before. The best thing that you can do for yourself and your loved one is to create new memories. Of course, the nature of what you do together may not be what you are accustomed to, but the rewards can be tremendous when you are open to trying new experiences. I have taken a lot of downtime from work lately to help restore my energy body and spend as much quality time with my dad as possible. Thankfully, as my health is improving and my energy levels are significantly better, we enjoyed a festive holiday weekend together. We put our tree up and decorated the house while I asked my dad for his input and feedback as much as possible. We enjoyed some shopping for Christmas gifts and attended a festive outdoor concert Friday with my two daughters. Creating new memories elevates my mood and reduces the pain of watching my dad's dementia progress. Instead, we celebrate who he is now by taking advantage of the time we have in the present moment. Do what you can to create new memories of yourself with your loved one.

24/11/2021

Day 40- Listen to Your Body's Whispers

Caregiving is an incredibly demanding job in all facets of our lives. Unfortunately, it does not take long before a caregiver goes from high-level energy to feeling tired. However, if you ignore your body's warnings and plug on, severe burnout can creep up suddenly. I recall when I was coaching with a large corporation, and the Vice President of the company would say, "Things always happen gradually, until they are here suddenly." He was referencing how often our clients would say things to the effect that some event or occurrence in their life was not predictable. They did not see something coming. The truth is, there are always signs before something happens suddenly. Unfortunately, as our lives are so busy, we do not slow down enough to notice and integrate the warning signs into our lives. We ignore the gradual until something progresses to the dangerous level of suddenly. The exact same principle applies to your energy levels as a caregiver. You will notice that you feel more tired some days than most days, and suddenly you are burned out. Burnout is never sudden. If you slow your life down and really lean into the process of listening to the messages your body is trying to give you, you will hear and see precisely what your body is trying to warn you of. Can you detect the gradual decline in your energy levels? Can you feel into and acknowledge when your emotional levels are inconsistent? Do you notice when you are getting triggered more easily? The key to surviving as a caregiver to a loved one is to get ahead of the curve. Get ahead of the suddenly and truly learn to listen to the whispers from your body. Please avoid getting to the point of no return with your burnout or other health issues. Do not ignore the signs and warnings.

22/11/2021

Day 39 - Laugh Often, Including at Yourself

Lighten your load with laughter. It truly is a miraculous medicine. My dad and I laugh daily as I tease and make fun of myself; give him a reason to find humor. I will forget something and say something to knock myself, or we play with the dog. Any reason that I can find to make light of whatever is going on in the moment. Learning to take myself and all my mistakes and life less seriously is not only humbling; it is fun. There has never been a time that I can recall where we needed more positivity and fun as a collective. Please note that I am not dismissing the severe issues in the world or within your life, merely asking you to take a brief break from it all. We cannot fix everything in the world with one fellow swoop, however. As we were all born with the gift and purpose of finding happiness during the chaos, and no matter what situation we are dealing with, take time to really lighten up your day and your life with a pure heartfelt belly laugh. Scientific studies show that laughter helps to release endorphins into your body and serotonin into your brain. Laugher, therefore, can have a positive impact on your emotional, intellectual, and physical well-being. Do yourself a favor and find a funny video to watch on YouTube. Watch a funny movie or learn to laugh at yourself like I do. It so liberating to not take myself so seriously. Your body with absolutely thank you when you do whatever you need to do to find a way to invoke an infectious belly laugh. https://balance.media/power-of-laughter/