HŌLD 3

08/01/2021

We hope this post finds you where the breath resides. Breathe with us.

A breath practice led by Baby Kaiyō:
-Silence the sounds around you and listen closely of Baby Kaiyō spell Breathe for 35 seconds of bliss, love and wonder.
......
A message from me to you:
I think it's safe to say yesterday we all in someway was triggered but we pressed on. Mothers pushed themselves to smile in the faces of their babies though conflicted with emotions. Lovers and friends checked in on each other. We prayed and covered our families with that prayer from the vibration of negro spirituals. We joked and found meme after meme to laugh...

But we all need to melt like butter somewhere we know we are safe, held, felt and protected.

I see you.
I feel you.
I hear you.
I love you.
And I am damn proud of you for showing up even when an entire country doesn't show up for you.

HŌLD 3
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19/12/2020

I hope this picture finds you in your postpartum, honest. If your reading this 2020 has left you post— of a life experience that has impacted you to some degree. Post losing a loved one. Post a break-up. Post a career change. Post a pregnancy. Post a betrayal. Post a new opportunity. Post graduating. Post a move. Post—

No matter where post—— has found you..I hope you remember the equity that being real builds not only in your healing but in your relationships, finances, dreams and happiness.

I took this picture to have a view of how messy my story is right now, there are mystery stains on my bra; could be baby spit up, his p*e, or breast milk, I don’t ever know... my belly is 4 hues darker than me and squishy..my body aches and knees seriously hurt..my hair is beautifully thick and nappy but it’s shedding.. I sometimes cry now for episodes of time for reasons I can’t communicate nor comprehend.. our house has never been this messy and I have never been this tried in my life for consecutive days

But I looked this picture after taking it and I saw none of the above. I saw a human being human, finding grace and leaning in to her most vulnerable part of her story. My past self leaning in to honesty in the past allowed for me to find myself in an honest that is gentle, when I need it most.

Sending you love, how ever you are, where ever you are. Hold 3 [breathe]

27/10/2020

Women dying in child birth is: pre·vent·a·ble -able to be prevented or avoided.
One of the dopest women I know is grieving in a reality that never should have come to pass. It didn’t have too. Her line sister of the Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. passed away of preventable pregnancy related complications.
If you Google: Black doctor died in childbirth.. you’ll find an Insider article detailing the passing. But what you won’t find in text is the life that has to carry on of her unborn child Charlotte, her husband and collectives of colleagues, family friends and sisters from this tragedy.
The news of Dr. Chaniece fell on the day I was ending the fundraiser for Black Mama X Revolution which is to raise funds for our home birth and two other Black Mamas Doula and maternal care. To give Black Mothers competent and humane maternal representatives in their pregnancy, birth and postpartum experiences.
As we learn to listen to the story of Dr. Chaniece Wallace. We are here.. inspired to keep pushing for with our imagination, coins and platforms to reimagine a safer space for Black Mamas.
May we say her name, pray for her family and protect Black Mothers like never before.
To donate or to learn more about Black Mama Revolution:
Web: Hold3.com
Cashapp: Babykaiyō
Venmo: Babykaiyō
PayPal: PayPal.me/Hold3
*A portion of funds has been allocated to the the Gofund me hosted by Dr. Chaniece Wallace husband.

27/10/2020

My our alters manifest the dreams and spaces we have reimagined in a lifetime for us to be present in.
May the entity you call God to embrace you always in unconditional love.
May the newborn babies born too much sooner than their Birthdate be cherished.
May the angles hold every Mother’s hand as they whisper the lullaby's and the I love you’s to their babies they never got to hold.
May every person who has received the call of grief find soothing in the micro of moments.
If you're reading this now. Take a breath and hold it in your chest till it burns... That sensation is the holding space between life and death. That's how close your rebirth is at all times. Be of gratitude of where you are, what you have and leave the rest to the silence after the exhale where God breathes.

21/10/2020

This post is to being you joy. A special moment that doesn't only belong to us but to you and your family too.
When Black people experience joy it stretches to heal the open wounds of our most far ancestors. It gently wipes the tears that have been shed from the prayers for someone like me to experience this.
It's been a hard and traumatizing journey for me and my partner being pregnant during a pandemic of not only COVID but racism. Today we will celebrate our sovereignty we found just 7 weeks before our baby is due after firing our white doctor and hiring a black birth worker.
Smile with me.. & vibe to the beat of the heart of Baby Kaiyō who has inspired a revolution inside of me to ensure Black Mama’s right now at one of the most vulnerable times for us all can be held in quality care, gentleness & the prayers of their foremothers.
Join the Black Mama Revolution & Donate to our home birth, a doula for a Black Mama’s scheduled c-section and a Q***r Black Mama full-spectrum midwifery care.
Web: hold3.com
Cash app: babykaiyo
Venmo: babykaiyo
PayPal: PayPal.me/hold3
or DM me
I love y'all foreal.
***rmoms

16/10/2020

We have to be prepared to remove Black Women from violent spaces by any means necessary.
I need you to help me as a Black Mama in my revolution to seeking justice from this ghetto system they call health care.
All Black girls grow up with that Aunt who silently struggles with facial hair from POCS or who fibroids are so large she looks pregnant. Being invisible by western doctors is normalized to the degree that we don't even know what quality care looks like, how it feels, or what it offers.
So we find ourselves in casual even joking conversations about how bad are period cramps are or how abnormal they can be or how we ain't even seen Aunt Flow in months.
The discussion about Birth Control side effects is at brunch, in the women’s restroom & over happy hour...we hate this s**t of a pill, shot, ring, bar but we keep it G.
But when we become pregnant it hits different. We don't talk about it anymore. Maybe because we are to busy fighting for what we always knew we were robbed of, quality and decent care.
Now s**t is real. We could die, our unborn child could die. We are dying, our infants are too. And even if we don't die, we are traumatized.
Join me and another pregnant Black Mama tomorrow 10/16 @ 7pm to hear our story as it's unfolding in a pandemic, in the racism and in our revolution against this oppression.
Hold3.com for more info

12/10/2020

Monday's are notoriously weird for me. I get off task escaping activities with the ghost of the weekend and the fantasies of a moments marked for the future.
Rituals are a friend to my wonder that can sometimes morph into unlimited anxieties or demons of self-sabotage.
Boiling a hot cup of water with herbs and honey tends to be the only thing that settles me. It melts me into a yesterday.
A yesterday that holds the wisdom that is divine. There is a love in dem lavender, nettle, ginger, chamomile, raspberry leaf *a micro blend for pregnant mama’s
I Sip it slow, or all day..
It holds me in a way that feels so gentle, warm and of love. One of the best rituals I can suggest is drinking the earth and sitting yo ass down sum’ where (like my grandma used to say)
What Monday rituals do you have that makes you feel loved, or held?

11/10/2020

Aye, Prenatal depression is real. Be more gentle on Mamás

Sis, when people find out your pregnant they will ask you if you are excited?!
Don’t feel pressured to say yes if you are not sure how you feel, or if you are not excited. We live in a society that romanticizes the idea of new life. That doesn’t mean they get to project that on to you. Tell them simply, that you are still processing your news.
Sis, when you tell them you don’t enjoy being pregnant.. they will shame you for it.
It is no shame for not enjoying every waking moment of your pregnancy or at all. That does not make you less worthy of caring your little bae. You’re being honest with yourself and truly that is an important thing to note is how you truly feel in your body. Also many women have trauma with their reproductive bodies, this may be an unfair projection of their experiences or desires on to yours; give grace here I am sure they are not trying to upset you ..
Sis, when you tell them you don't feel like yourself. They will tell you that you're hormonal during pregnancy, it’s normal.
Though your hormones are high, if you are concerned of your mental health, seek the attention it needs. You know yourself. I actually cope with Prenatal depression now. It took me a long minute to adjust to the idea of that because I didn’t even know it existed until I took it upon myself to get help.
Sis, when you tell them your morning sickness is too much to bear or the physically this all is hard. They will tell you they went through it too, it’s apart of pregnancy. Basically, to suck it up
Just because it’s a natural part of pregnancy doesn’t mean your experiences is invalidated. I validate your feelings and it is hard to bare.
Sis, if something doesn’t feel right to you. They will tell you your overreacting.
If it doesn’t feel right, it’s not right. Follow your instincts.
Advocating for yourself is labor that you should not have to endure but like for me it is necessary. Speak to those who are worth your energy. Go to places where you feel seen. Know that you are not alone. We all need to do better at protecting Black Mothers.

11/10/2020

Sis, when people find out your pregnant they will ask you if you are excited?!
Don’t feel pressured to say yes if you are not sure how you feel, or if you are not excited. We live in a society that romanticizes the idea of new life. That doesn’t mean they get to project that on to you. Tell them simply, that you are still processing your news.
Sis, when you tell them you don’t enjoy being pregnant.. they will shame you for it.
It is no shame for not enjoying every waking moment of your pregnancy or at all. That does not make you less worthy of carrim your little bae. You’re being honest with yourself and truly that is an important thing to note is how you truly feel in your body. Also many women have trauma with their reproductive bodies, this may be an unfair projection of their experiences or desires on to yours; give grace here I am sure they are not trying to upset you ..
Sis, when you tell them you don't feel like yourself. They will tell you that you're hormonal during pregnancy, it’s normal.
If you feel unlike you or your concerned of your state, seek the attention it needs. Prenatal depression is real and it took me a long min. to cope with it because I had never heard of it.
Sis, when you tell them your physically this all is too hard to bare. They will tell you they went through it too, it’s apart of pregnancy.
Just because they went through it does not give pass to invalidate your experience.
Sis, if something doesn’t feel right to you. They will tell you, your overreacting.
If it doesn’t feel right, it’s not right. Period.
Advocating for yourself is labor that you should not have to endure but like it is necessary. Speak to those who are worth your energy. Go to places where you feel seen. Know that you are not alone. We all need to do better at protecting Black Mothers.

11/10/2020

Sis, when people find out your pregnant they will ask you if you are excited?!
Don’t feel pressured to say yes if you are not sure how you feel, or if you are not excited. We live in a society that romanticizes the idea of new life. That doesn’t mean they get to project that on to you. Tell them simply, that you are still processing your news.
Sis, when you tell them you don’t enjoy being pregnant.. they will shame you for it.
It is no shame for not enjoying every waking moment of your pregnancy or at all. That does not make you less worthy of caring your little bae. You’re being honest with yourself and truly that is an important thing to note is how you truly feel in your body. Also many women have trauma with their reproductive bodies, this may be an unfair projection of their experiences or desires on to yours; give grace here I am sure they are not trying to upset you ..
Sis, when you tell them you don't feel like yourself. They will tell you that you're hormonal during pregnancy, it’s normal.
Though your hormones are high, if you are concerned of your mental health, seek the attention it needs. You know yourself. I actually cope with Prenatal depression now. It took me a long minute to adjust to the idea of that because I didn’t even know it existed until I took it upon myself to get help.
Sis, when you tell them your morning sickness is too much to bear or the physically this all is hard. They will tell you they went through it too, it’s apart of pregnancy. Basically, to suck it up
Just because it’s a natural part of pregnancy doesn’t mean your experiences is invalidated. I validate your feelings and it is hard to bare.
Sis, if something doesn’t feel right to you. They will tell you your overreacting.
If it doesn’t feel right, it’s not right. Follow your instincts.
Advocating for yourself is labor that you should not have to endure but like for me it is necessary. Speak to those who are worth your energy. Go to places where you feel seen. Know that you are not alone. We all need to do better at protecting Black Mothers.

07/03/2020

The truth is we don’t have enough, time. Spend your time, lovingly..

✨My heart and whole being is with:

✨those who are care takers.

✨for those grieving loved ones.

✨for those who are in long
distance relationships.

✨for those who have loved ones in prison.

✨with social workers who wish they could do more.

✨with teachers who don’t feel like there doing enough.

✨for the creators trying to liberate the world.

✨the moms whose tired and feeling under-appreciated.

✨for the daddies who are trying their best.

✨for the students consumed with frustration and oversold promises...

✨for the female and femmes who are feed da f**k up.

✨ for black, brown and q***r folks who just need space to breathe..

To whose reading this ..now is the most wise time to go love on another human being, unconditionally. I love you, foreal.
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Hold3.com
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