04/03/2022
I've been feeling as if I'm coming into a cocoon phase of life and shedding parts of the old me, so I can embrace the new me.
The me that owns my power as a valid human and not the me that gives up my power and searches for validity in my relationship/relationships. Intimate relationships, family relationships, and friendships.
It took me a long time to admit to myself that that was one of my biggest realities holding me back. Keeping me in "victim mode".
It's also one of the scariest to face because I have to dig very deep to a very young me that learned that conditioning at a very young age.
I was conditioned to not trust myself and that I was not worthy of so much.
Long story shorter, I used to go into the woods to cry and get my emotions out in private. Write my whatever list out or do my workouts to feel better and then go about life.
I have recently shifted my time in nature. I now go, yes to feel emotions but to also consciously connect with the earth and myself.
Now instead of asking myself things like "what did I do wrong?" And other petty "somethings wrong with me" types of damaging self doubt, power giving up, debilitating and helpless types of things...
I have been asking:
"What is my body trying to tell me?"
"Where are my feelings coming from?"
"What needs to be healed?"
Grounding and meditating on soaking up the energies of the earth.
(Ya know hippy stuff ✌️) 😉
That was a great shift but after talking with a friend and integration coach she helped me see that I was still giving up my power by trying to still controll my emotions.
Now I still ask myself these questions but also add:
"What is my soul seeking to learn from this?"
And
"What is my HEART trying to tell me?"
Then instead of being in my head, I just sit in stillness and observe.
Hearing that we cannot control our healing (even though I have said it... 🤦♀️) But hearing it from someone to me at the right time turned on a light bulb. 💡
Happy Friday All! Own your power and come from Love not anger or fear. ❤
I AM WELCOMING MY COCOON STAGE! 🦋