24/08/2018
Question: “Is it genuine monogamy if you think of deviating?”
Social understanding of monogamy is an ongoing evolution. It used to mean one s*x partner for life. Now, in the Western world, it means one s*x partner at a time.
You’ll find people saying they’ve dated 5 people, they’ve been married 3 times, and they insist they were monogamous with all their partners! 😉
My view on this: Take you focus off what monogamy is and isn’t, and instead, come to terms with who you are, what you believe, what you value, etc. Be open and honest with yourself. This is vitally important, as many people pay lip service to the ideal of monogamy while being internally conflicted, wracked with guilt and self-judgment, unable even to accept themselves for who they truly are in the moment.
After you get to be passably good at being honest, open, loving, and accepting of yourself, extend that to how you are with others.
I am open with people to let them know that I do not place importance on monogamy. (By the way, this does not mean I’m on the hunt for constant s*xual variety). My candidness allows others to more quickly decide if I am “not their cup of tea,” or if some form of relationship is still appealing to them.
To each their own.
Live your life YOUR way.
Be true to yourself.
The greatest betrayal you can perpetrate is to one’s self: trying to conform to a social construct, while in reality, you are made of “different stuff.” If you cannot be honest with yourself, if you cannot love and appreciate yourself, then suffering surely awaits you… you’re probably in it now.
