31/05/2026
On this morning's hours of the last day of the 14th anniversary year, month that he passed. I had continuous dreams of grief and letting go of him. On the morning of this Blue Moon. A second full moon of the month. When it is all about letting go of that which does not serve us. Despite the fact that more than 30 years ago we did the whole "Karmic Closure" thing on a mountain top in Santa Fe. Where he tracked me down after a few years of alienation. I had said my peace, and he heard me. I wanted to move on! He let me go. To go get my masters degree at the premier Buddhist grad school Naropa U. Named after the guru of ancient master Marpa, who in turn became the master of Milarepa. Whom Yauch would name his foundation after. He was witty! He has haunted me in subtle ways for years. "No shoulda coulda." We got closure. But, grief is irrational. He was not even in the dreams this morning that just went on and on! Milking some undeserved grief out of me. It seemed his parents were there in the background. A congregation of Jewish relatives at their beautiful Brooklyn Heights brownstone. Somber, in Sunday best clothes. Relatives milling around, offering eachother comfort while reminiscing. New family pets I never met before, mementos they inherited from him. An interesting, smooth, gold Art Deco looking watch someone wore around their neck like a medallion. He never wore a watch. He liked antiques though. He has definitely moved on Since May 4th, 2012. Obviously, I have a deeper letting go to do on this Blue moon. It is probably not just about him, more about what he symbolizes. Maybe, more about an era gone by. A time when we all did not have to worry so much, about too much. A more carefree time.
