01/08/2020
HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART
Before it happened, you sensed it, didn’t you? . They become emotionally distant , busy and very irritable . It was like you are walking on eggshells . Then something really silly happened and you broke up . The silly thing you did was the straw that broke the camels back . You just got dumped ! , given a red card in this game of two .
Heart break is a horrible feeling and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy , you lose your appetite , Demotivated , you are anxious most of the time , depressed , lonely , betrayed , Angry , Irritable , Vengeful , Sorry and Lost . This is like mixing vodka , whiskey , lagers in shake shake .. These are too many emotions to process at one time , that’s why its soo hard .
Everyone will experience heartbreak soon or later so dont laugh at people suffering from it . Even if you told them Soo , Love is Soo complicated.
This is the season of storms and almost anything that you plant wont grow because you are dealing with a broken heart . You are not thinking straight and the likelihood of doing something stupid is soo high . WATCH YOURSELF .
You can heal quickly by following these steps religiously , Heart break can last even for 5 years if you don’t actively do something about it . You can be well even within 3 months ! after 6 months of following what I say , you can even help your ex plan his or her wedding without flinching .
STEP 1 : DO NOT BEG THEM TO STAY & ACCEPT
People just don’t dump immediately , They have been thinking about it for a very long time . That is why you sensed it before they broke up with you . They were distant and whatever , so now they finally gathered the courage to break up with you and you want to start begging .
Nothing you can say right now can convince them to stay . You can wake up shakespear to talk on your behalf but nothing will help . Logic and emotion don’t mix . Right now that person needs time away from you . They need to run free and do whatever it is that they want to do . Let them run the surface of the earth and enjoy the cool breeze with their new lover LOL . Just playing sorry ….
You have been dumped but don’t also dump your dignity by begging , If you beg , you look uglier and unattractive to the person . when someone breaks up with you just say ( Okay ! ) . Don’t ask that why is this happening , just say ( Okay !) . You will cause an error in the mind of the person that is dumping you .
Say okay and that you understand . If you stay together even leave . If its your house , you have to help them with the door .
Number one is accepting that its over for now . This is not easy but its real accept that it is over . Just like when we bury a loved one . We actually know that it is over when we put them in the ground .
If you are truly a remarkable person , that person will miss you after some time or you will find someone who deserves you . step one accept the situation .
STEP 2 : DON’T TALK TO THE PERSON & START DATING
Chances are that the person left you for someone else , So despite that person breaking up with you , they will call you here and there to ask for stupid stuff like were is that tshirt or how are you coping . That is nonsense, Step number 2 is that person doesn’t exist anymore to you . They are talking to you because they are not sure about their decision subconsciously, they fear that you will find someone and replace them . They may even say that it is okay for you to date but trust me that is their worst fear , especially if you have been dating a long time . Long time is 6 months and above not 2 weeks !
So by calling you , they get confidence that they can have you back anytime and with your begging and lack of acceptance . They know they have you in a bottle and can call you out like a genie and make their wishes and demands . Please don’t be a genie.
Ignore their calls , texts , emails even if the calls come from their relatives . Ignore ! Even if they are sick ignore , birthday ignore , someone died in their family ignore , they are stranded ignore , valentines ignore , xmas ignore .
This period is mind over matter . Do not listen to your body , use your mind and the rules here . The purpose of not talking to them is to detox you from that toxic person . After 21 days of doing anything it becomes a habit . If you don’t talk to them for 30 days plus . You will regain your self respect and heal a little to see things clearly and make proper judgements .
The person will even say sorry maybe and say they made a mistake but you have to do the 30 days punishment . They need to know that they cant just dump , you and get you back . You need to punish that persons soul by ignoring you . Its like eating chicken everyday , you tendwa it but after 2 weeks of not eating it , you can kill to have some of that . Same here , the person tendwad you and now you need to withdraw so they miss you . Trust me , if you act like you have no heart they will miss you . Ignore them !
ABOUT DATING OTHER PEOPLE
Date as many people as you possibly can , wether man or woman . You need it .
In this chapter , its not just about getting back at your ex by ignoring them . Its also a period for you to reflect your life decisions . This is time to find what you would love to see in a partner . By dumping you they have given you a chance to assess the qualities you would like to see in a partner , this is called sampling and you need a large sample to assess that LOL .
Also on the devil side point of you . It will sting your ex lovers heart to see you dating other people . They will start feeling betrayed themselves . They will start to think that they were actually lucky to be with you , They will know that you are valuable .
So up your wadrobe game and start looking fresh , going to the gym etc … get into the dating world . The rebound relationships you will have will distract your mind from the heart break and also introduce you to some valuable people without any feeling of guilt . You are single ! and free to mingle ! . When life gives you lemons you make lemonade .
What if am married ?
Do this especially when you are married . You will embarrass your husband or wife by being seen with other women or men and people will be asking your husband or wife questions which will embarrass them . Revenge is a dish best served cold my friend . You break my heart , I break your bones , soul and self image right ! or too much ?
Wont they leave me when I do that ?
My sister , they have already left you . They need to know that you cant have your cake and eat it too . Psychologically people are attracted to what they cant have . you dating other people will actually have the reverse effect of what you think . They will feel lonely themselves .
DISCLAIMER : I am not saying sleep with the whole world , dating is going out , having a drink or dinner and coming back to sleep in your bed .
STEP 3 : CAST OFF YOURSELF AND BE SOMEONE ELSE
After a break up , you wont be the same person , you will change . Embrace this change . You have the ability to rise beyond your problems and even become bigger . People will laugh and gossip about you 24/7 but this is time to become someone . Those emotions I spoke of can make you or break you . Those emotions are like petrol , if you drink it , you will die but if you put it in a vehicle and use it as a drive to achieve something . You will succeed .
Do you also know that heat break hurts more when you are broke as hell .. step up your financials
If you drown in your sorrows and start feeling for sorry for yourself . this will be your end
You can use big goals to also distract yourself from your heartbreak
Things you can do :
Aim to get a promotion at work ( Read my book)
Get a job or a new job ( Read my book , CV redesign , etc )
Go to the gym ( Check yourself , before you wreck yourself , Do you look fresh , did you stop taking care of yourself ?)
Strengthen your faith in your religion
Learn something new ( golf , games, series , sport )
DO NOTS
Don’t talk to friends about it or people that encourage you to get together
Don’t listen to sad songs or love songs
Don’t do drugs
Don’t plan hurtful revenge , revenge is your growing not you going to burn their house
You will feel very bad at times but just ignore it , your body releases hormones to make you reach out to the person . Ignore your body and tell it , someone better is coming or we are just punishing this person for a bit , hold on .
NOTE : I do not want to hear your love stories in my inbox please , I care about you but this is a business and I need to work . If you are stubborn and insist on talking about it with me . I can coach you over a week on how to behave or act when they call you or text you . I am not cheap though , K500 to coach you for a week in intervals , this is me also chasing you away LOL .
Hope you found that helpful