19/08/2026
We often focus on the tears, but thatās rarely the most important part.
The real story is what a child does while itās hard.
As adults, we can become understandably worried when a child is tearful about school. We start searching for the reason.
Is something happening?
Are they unhappy?
Are they lonely?
Do we need to intervene?
And of course, sometimes we do.
But sometimes weāre witnessing something much more ordinary and important:
adjustment.
A child can like their classmates and still feel lonely.
They can enjoy parts of their day and still come home exhausted.
They can laugh while telling you about school and cry five minutes later.
They can miss the familiarity of their old life while slowly building a new one.
Two seemingly contradictory feelings can exist at the same time.
Our role isnāt always to remove the uncomfortable one.
Sometimes itās to provide a safe place for it to land.
To listen without immediately problem-solving.
To remain curious without interrogating.
To keep an eye on how theyāre functioning while giving adjustment the time it deserves.
And perhaps to notice something our worry can easily obscure:
They were nervous.
They went.
It was hard.
They went back again.
Sometimes resilience isnāt the absence of tears.
Itās discovering:
āThis is hard and I can still do hard things.ā š¤
EmotionalRegulation ParentingSupport ChildDevelopment
