28/09/2026
It was utter MADNESS!
Seemingly NOTHING WENT TO PLAN!
AND IT WAS THE BEST THING EVER!!
I have so many things to say. Allow me to ramble, somewhat unedited!
A lot of THANKYOU!
And a lot of I LOVE YA’LL!
It was so beyond anything I could have imagined had it gone ‘to plan’ — I would have been grasping at control and way more stressed.
I LEARNED SO MUCH!
And I watched a ‘connection event’ become truly all about connection and weaving everyone’s energy into the creation of it. Which turned out to be way more magical, albeit complete chaos and just added to the MADNESS of it all.
I HAVE SO MUCH GRATITUDE, for everyone.
For the little moments and the big moments and the way people continue to trust not only me but themselves…YOURSELVES!
To everyone who came, who embraced the BUILD YOUR OWN WONDERLAND as part of the adventure. I kept saying as we were planning and in crew group chat — ‘for the people, by the people’ — and gawd, it couldn’t have been more that!
To my CREW — Angel Kelly, Kimbillie Seymour, Meg Pearce, and Tom— who again, HARE BRAIN IDEAS…I have them in abundance. AND it’s the crew, the people around me who just keep asking ‘what do you need’ ‘how can we help’ LETS DO THIS, WE GOT THIS!
and her team of kitchen witches and wizards , Rubin Waterhouse-Dean and last minute rope in Jessica Kaitlin , literal sorcery was performed in that kitchen. THAT WHITE RABBIT panda cotta.
I’ve really learned the importance of delegating and truly letting go. Trusting implicitly that if I give someone something, they’re gonna make it their own. And bring it to life. And it will be different to what I had in mind but it will be perfect.
I kept finding myself in conversations where people shared with me the impact of me inviting them to do whatever it was — be mad, get dressed up, talk about something deeper than surface level things, eye gaze, pose for photos, consider what connection feels like, and where in the body they feel it…
I am humbled, but also realising that — these things come easy to me. Like they’re part of what I NEED, and CRAVE. And so here we are, sitting around tables that are covered in the most random assortment of tea cups and clocks that don’t tick and candle holders that don’t have candles in them…dressed in clothes that are mad and getting deep and playful.
You know, one person said to me, ‘I’ve been waiting my whole life for this.’ If that’s not reason to celebrate this…I don’t know what is!!
I was running like, an hour late…and I live over an hour away…so on the drive there I was listening to the voices in my head, the ones that used to tear me to pieces and tell me I am a failure, blah, blah — for being late, for not being better organised...etc — those voices were still there but new voices that were able to stay open to joy and connection — and to celebrate what did happen... they're getting louder. And that's left me feeling full. And glad and incredibly grateful.
A few things have dropped in for me. Gentle yet profound.
I used to ‘punish’ myself for being late. Like I deserved connection less, so I wouldn’t open myself up. I’d shut down, id feel angry or stressed and take that out on the people around me. I’d push people away.
Saturday on my drive I realised I didn’t have to do that. I could focus on the connection I wanted, the relational aspect. THE REASON for this event. And so when I arrived I made sure to greet people and find the joy within myself and invite everyone else into it. BECAUSE TRULY I HAVE SO MUCH FUN doing set up and pack down! Creating and dismantling. And oh my goodness. I just — don’t have words, just tears of awe, that it wasn’t about me in the end but something, someone, everyone! Much bigger than me!
I could go on and on about the moments. The little things that happened inside of me, personally AND around me as I watched other people interact. The things that brought tears to my eyes to witness. The knowing that for some people — being there was sitting on the edge of their comfort zone and they were meeting themselves over and over to stay.
I ‘create’ events…spaces…for other people. BUT I AM so deeply changed every time!
THANKYOU! Thankyou! THANKYOU
I am exhausted but I feel so incredibly full.
Until next time…
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