13/08/2026
One of the biggest shifts we can make as parents, educators and professionals is recognising the difference between capability and capacity.
A child may know how to do something. They may have done it yesterday, last week, or even earlier that morning. But that doesn’t mean they’ll have the capacity to do it every single time.
The same is true for us.
Some days we can juggle work, appointments, cooking dinner and responding patiently to our kids. Other days, answering one email or deciding what’s for dinner feels like too much.
We don’t assume we’ve suddenly lost those skills - we recognise that we’re tired, overwhelmed, stressed or running on empty.
Our children deserve that same understanding.
Capacity is dynamic. It shifts throughout the day and from one day to the next. Sleep, sensory demands, anxiety, illness, executive functioning, emotional load, transitions and uncertainty can all influence what someone is able to manage in that moment.
When we shift from asking: “Why won’t they do it?” to asking: “What might be making today harder?”, we move from judgement to curiosity.
That doesn’t mean lowering expectations forever. It means adjusting our support to match the person’s current capacity, helping them experience success rather than overwhelm.
The next time your child struggles with something they usually manage, remember:
They’re not a different child today.
Their capacity might just be different.
