07/09/2026
I’ve been thinking a lot about the idea that diagnosing women with ADHD and autism later in life is simply taking relatively normal human behaviours and turning them into pathology.
Because when you look at the traits individually, I understand why people think that. Lots of people procrastinate, forget things, dislike having plans changed, become overwhelmed, need time alone or have very particular ways they like things done.
But I think that argument misses something important, particularly when we’re talking about women receiving diagnoses in adulthood.
For a long time, we simply haven’t been equally good at recognising ADHD and autism in everyone. Girls and women whose difficulties were less disruptive, more internalised, heavily compensated for or masked were much easier to miss.
When I look back at myself, I can see how that happened.
I did well at school, completed two honours degrees, built a business, became a public speaker, got married and became a mother. There was plenty of evidence that I was functioning well, while much of the effort required to maintain that functioning remained invisible.
Individually, my traits had perfectly reasonable explanations. I was sensitive, anxious, particular, perfectionistic, intense, introverted, controlling or someone who simply needed to be more organised and flexible.
And perhaps that’s where the idea of “pathologising normal behaviour” becomes more complicated, because normalising these things may also have been part of how women like me remained invisible for so long.
I don’t think every overwhelmed, sensitive or disorganised woman is neurodivergent, and I don’t think every quirk needs a diagnosis attached to it.
I do think our understanding has evolved, and perhaps some of the women finally being diagnosed in adulthood were simply there all along.
My diagnosis hasn’t turned ordinary parts of me into symptoms. It has given me context for the whole pattern, and that has changed the way I understand myself, which is a pretty bloody big deal.
Sending love to anyone else navigating this, my DMs are always open x