03/07/2026
Over-explaining. Shutting down. Avoiding conflict. People-pleasing.
These behaviours are often spoken about as though they’re flaws to overcome.
But there’s usually much more going on.
They are often strategies that developed for a very good reason. They are ways of navigating relationships, protecting yourself from hurt, maintaining connection, creating predictability, or staying safe in environments that felt confusing, overwhelming, or uncertain.
The problem isn’t that these strategies exist. The problem is that many of them continue long after they’re needed.
In therapy, we’re not trying to get rid of parts of you.
We’re getting curious about them.
What are they protecting?
What are they expecting?
What experiences shaped them?
And what might become possible if they no longer had to work quite so hard?
Often, what looks like anxiety, conflict avoidance, people-pleasing, perfectionism, overthinking, or emotional shutdown makes a lot more sense when we understand the story behind it.
And when we understand it, we have more choice 🧡🪶🧡
