23/05/2026
Survival mode in relationships;
I have the deep honour in my work of holding space for and guiding my clients to heal their relationship wounds.
I wanted to share something in case it resonates with you.
Many people do not enter relationships from a space of Love. They enter from a space of Survival.
Survival unfortunately can lead to the following dynamics in a relationship;
Fear
Manipulation
Abuse
There are only 2 real spaces we can operate from; Fear and Love.
Yes there's a wide array of degrees of each of these but they are at the core of every belief and behaviour.
People that operate from Fear motivation use the following tactics in relationships and it is coming from a survival space and the ultimate goal is to maintain connection to the other person for their own gain with disregard for the impact or experience of the other person;
Control (of others), Manipulation; Threats, Flattery, Deception, Expecting perfection from others, Expecting more from others than they give, Imbalance of power, Isolation and restriction from support.
Someone does not need to be hitting you in order for it to be abuse.
It does not need to be abuse for you to leave.
A healthy relationship is two people wanting what's best for themselves AND each other.
It's mutually beneficial, there's compatibility, fondness, attraction, shared values, collaboration and MOST IMPORTANTLY RESPECT.
Without respect there can be no health in a relationship.
This does not just apply to romantic relationships, anywhere there is people there is relationship.
This means your family, friends and work.
The common denominator in all of your relationship experiences is YOU.
This is why doing the inner work to heal, educate and empower yourself has a positive ripple effect into every other aspect of your life.
Things don't need to be bad or horrible for you to do the inner work, we all benefit from this no matter the age or stage.
Life is so much more than your current or past experiences