Dr Celin Gelgec

Dr Celin Gelgec Welcome to a world of Education for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

Relationship OCD is one of the most misunderstood presentations of OCD. ROCD centres on questions that many people have ...
22/06/2026

Relationship OCD is one of the most misunderstood presentations of OCD. ROCD centres on questions that many people have genuinely asked themselves before. Questions about love, attraction, commitment, compatibility, and whether they are making the right choice.

What if I’m with the wrong person? What if I’m settling? What if I don’t love them enough? What if I could be happier with someone else? What if the fact that I’m having these thoughts means something?

The difficulty is that none of these questions immediately sound irrational. In fact, they often sound thoughtful and responsible. Most people believe that if a relationship is important enough, they should think carefully about it. They should analyse it. They should try to get clarity. They should make sure they’re making the right decision.

So people start paying attention.

They notice every fluctuation in attraction. Every moment of irritation. Every time they don’t feel connected. Every attractive stranger. Every story they hear about someone else’s relationship. Every feeling that doesn’t quite match how they think they should feel. And before long, they are no longer living their relationship. They are evaluating it.

What makes Relationship OCD particularly difficult is that the search for certainty feels so sensible. The person isn’t trying to feel safe from contamination or prevent a catastrophe. They’re trying to answer what feels like one of the most important questions of their life.

The problem is that the more they try to solve it, the more elusive the answer becomes.

Hours are spent analysing feelings. Replaying interactions. Comparing partners. Seeking reassurance from friends, family, podcasts, books, social media, and therapists. Looking for the one piece of evidence that will finally settle the question once and for all. Yet certainty never arrives. Or if it does, it stays for a few minutes, a few hours, or a few days before the doubt returns and the whole process begins again.

Continued in comments ⬇️

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how often we’re encouraged to name our emotions. And to be fair, there is some tru...
19/06/2026

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how often we’re encouraged to name our emotions. And to be fair, there is some truth in that. Putting words to an experience can help us make sense of what’s happening. It can create a little distance from the chaos.

But I think we’ve started treating naming an emotion as if it’s the same thing as feeling it. It’s not. You can tell me you’re anxious, sad, angry, guilty, ashamed, or disappointed. That tells me that you can identify it perfectly. You can have incredible insight into why it’s there. And still never actually let yourself experience it fully. Emotions don’t just live in our thoughts. They show up in tight chests. Heavy stomachs. Racing hearts. Burning faces. Tension in the jaw. A lump in the throat.
And this is the part we avoid like it’s the plague. I get it. Emotions hurt and sometimes they’re really scary. We can feel like we’re going to lose control. Or we start over analysing our emotions or explaining them. Basically we intellectualise an emotional experience so we don’t have to actually feel it.

The uncomfortable truth is that emotional processing isn’t just about recognising what’s there. It’s about allowing the physical experience of that emotion to exist without immediately trying to reduce it, solve it, distract from it, or make it go away.

Sometimes the next step isn’t finding a better explanation for how you feel. It’s staying with the sensation for a little longer than you normally would. Coping with it isn’t perfect or pretty. It’s messy, but we can do hard things.

One of the reasons OCD can feel so consuming is that doubt rarely feels like “just a thought”.For many people, doubt fee...
08/06/2026

One of the reasons OCD can feel so consuming is that doubt rarely feels like “just a thought”.

For many people, doubt feels visceral. It can feel like a shift in the body. A drop in the stomach. A sudden sense that something is emotionally unresolved. A feeling of danger, guilt, disgust, or urgency that appears without warning and then demands attention. That’s part of why compulsions can become so compelling.

The person is often not simply trying to answer a question intellectually. They are trying to get relief from the feeling of doubt itself. So they replay the memory again. They confess. They seek reassurance. They analyse their reaction. They search online. They mentally review the conversation one more time hoping that this time, finally, the feeling will settle. And sometimes it does.

For a few moments, things can feel clearer again. The nervous system softens. The urgency drops away. The person feels more grounded, more certain, more themselves. But then the doubt returns.

Sometimes attached to a new thought. Sometimes attached to the exact same one. Sometimes triggered by something so small that the person barely even understands why the feeling has come back.

That’s often the point where people start becoming frustrated with themselves. Because logically, they may already understand that the fear is unlikely, exaggerated, or OCD-driven. They may have insight. They may even be able to explain the entire cycle perfectly to somebody else. But insight does not automatically resolve doubt.

Because OCD is rarely just asking for information. It is asking for a feeling. The feeling of complete resolution. Complete safety. And that is a feeling no human being can sustain permanently.

That’s what makes OCD treatment so difficult and so emotionally counterintuitive. Recovery is usually not built through eliminating doubt altogether. It is built through gradually learning that doubt can be present without needing to obey every urge it creates.

One of the most confusing parts of OCD treatment is reassurance. We reassure because it often sounds exactly like what c...
05/06/2026

One of the most confusing parts of OCD treatment is reassurance. We reassure because it often sounds exactly like what caring people are supposed to say to one another. It comes from a place of love. When someone we love is distressed, most of us instinctively want to help them feel better. We want to calm them down, settle the fear, and help them feel safe again. So we say things like, “Oh no don’t be silly of course I’m not offended”, “you’re not a bad person”, “You would never do that”, or “You’re overthinking this”.

And honestly, reassurance often works in the moment. You can sometimes see the relief happen almost immediately. The person’s body softens a little. Their breathing slows. The panic settles just enough for them to feel like they can think again. For a brief moment, it feels like the conversation has genuinely helped.

But then OCD asks more questions: “What if they’re wrong?”, “What if they didn’t fully understand?”, “What if this situation is different?”

And suddenly the relief that felt so convincing a few moments earlier begins to disappear. The urge to ask again returns. Or the person starts mentally reviewing the conversation to make sure they explained everything properly. Or they begin searching online, checking memories, analysing feelings, or looking for another person to reassure them in a slightly different way.

That is often the moment people begin to realise that the problem was never actually a lack of reassurance or even insight. The problem was the belief that certainty would finally make the fear go away.

Therapists feel pulled into this dynamic too. It is incredibly difficult to sit with another human being who is frightened, ashamed, doubtful, or desperate for certainty and not move toward reassurance. Sometimes the urge to reassure comes from warmth. Sometimes it comes from our own discomfort at watching someone suffer. Sometimes it comes from wanting to help the session feel calmer again. (Continued in comments) ⬇️

One of the reasons confession can be so difficult to identify in OCD is that, on the surface, it looks like something we...
02/06/2026

One of the reasons confession can be so difficult to identify in OCD is that, on the surface, it looks like something we value.

Most people think of confession as a good thing. It makes us feel honest, transparent, and responsible. It can even make us feel closer to the people around us. When we tell someone something difficult, we often experience a sense of relief. The burden feels lighter because we’re no longer carrying it alone.

That’s what can make OCD’s relationship with confession so confusing.

Many people with OCD aren’t confessing because they’ve done something wrong. They’re confessing because they’re terrified of what it might mean if they don’t.

Terrified that they’re hiding something important. Terrified that they’ve been dishonest. Terrified that keeping a thought, feeling, memory, or doubt to themselves somehow makes them a bad person.

So they tell their partner. Their friend. Their parent. Their therapist. For a moment, it helps. The anxiety settles. The guilt softens. The uncertainty loosens its grip. But then another question appears.

What if I didn’t explain it properly? What if I left something out? What if they would think differently if they knew the whole story?

And suddenly the relief that felt so convincing a few moments ago has vanished.

That’s one of the cruellest things about OCD. It can take something genuinely meaningful, like honesty, and slowly transform it into a ritual.

Not because the person wants attention. Not because they’re being deceptive. But because they’re trying to achieve something none of us can ever fully achieve.

The certainty that they have told enough. The certainty that they are still a good person. The certainty that there is nothing left to disclose.

And certainty, unfortunately, is a hunger that OCD never stops feeding.

One of the most misunderstood parts of OCD treatment is insight. People assume that if someone knows their fear “doesn’t...
01/06/2026

One of the most misunderstood parts of OCD treatment is insight. People assume that if someone knows their fear “doesn’t make sense”, treatment should be straightforward.

But insight doesn’t neutralise terror. A person can fully recognise that their fear is unlikely, irrational, exaggerated, or OCD-driven… and still feel completely emotionally consumed by it.

Because OCD isn’t a disorder of intelligence. It’s a disorder of threat, uncertainty, responsibility, disgust, and emotional urgency. Which is why some of the most distressed people with OCD are also the most insightful.

They can explain the cycle beautifully. They can identify the compulsion in real time. They can tell you exactly what OCD is doing. And still feel unable to stop.

That’s often the part families, clinicians, and even sufferers themselves feel confused by. “If you know it’s OCD, why can’t you just let it go?” Because insight and freedom are not the same thing.

And recovery isn’t built through having the perfect intellectual understanding of OCD. It’s built through gradually leaning into doubt, uncertainty, and distress, without obeying it.

Early in my career, someone I knew found out that I’d started working in OCD treatment.They said: “Oh yeah, that’d be a ...
25/05/2026

Early in my career, someone I knew found out that I’d started working in OCD treatment.

They said: “Oh yeah, that’d be a good one. It’s just a bit of washing and checking, and then you’re done.”

All I said was: “Spend a week shadowing me at work and then we’ll see if you still think the same thing.”

But what I remember most is the feeling. It wasn’t quite anger. It was the specific discomfort of realising that people who had been in the field a long time were still working from a version of OCD that had almost nothing to do with what OCD actually is.

“A bit of washing and checking.”

Not the person who hasn’t left their house in three years.

Not the person who has confessed the same thought so many times their partner has started to go quiet.

Not the person sitting across from you in session, gripping the edge of their chair, convinced that if they can’t get the thought exactly right, something unspeakable will happen.

The misunderstanding around OCD isn’t just public. Unfortunately, it still exists in clinical spaces too.

And that misunderstanding shapes how long people go unseen, untreated, and misunderstood before they finally get the right help. Right now that gap is on average 10-14 years. Yes years. Not days, not weeks, not months. Years.

Postpartum anxiety and postpartum OCD are not the same thing. Being told you have one when you actually have the other c...
20/05/2026

Postpartum anxiety and postpartum OCD are not the same thing. Being told you have one when you actually have the other can mean months of treatment that’s almost right, but not quite.

The distinction isn’t always obvious, especially when you’re sleep deprived, hormonally wrecked, and genuinely terrified about your baby. Both feel like something is very wrong. But the diagnostic question isn’t really about the thoughts. It’s about the cycle that follows them, including what you do with the thoughts.

That’s the difference that determines what treatment needs to look like. And it’s the difference that tends to get missed. Swipe through to understand what sets them apart. Hit the link in bio for more.

Intrusive thoughts don’t just disturb you. Over time, they make you a stranger to yourself. Not all at once. Gradually....
18/05/2026

Intrusive thoughts don’t just disturb you. Over time, they make you a stranger to yourself. Not all at once. Gradually. Through the spiral of rituals and compulsions, through the endless loops of doubt, through the slow erosion of trusting your own instincts. At some point, the question shifts from “what should I do?” to “who even am I?”

This is one of the less-talked-about costs of OCD, not just the time lost to compulsions, but the loss of a sense of self, the loss of your ability to trust your own judgement when OCD takes hold, and the loss of knowing what you value, what you enjoy, what you actually think. Especially if OCD took hold early, before you’d had the chance to figure any of that out.

The good news: values don’t disappear. We can learn what they are, or rediscover them again. And learning to act from them, even when doubt is loud, is part of what recovery looks like.

Save this if it resonates. Share it with someone who might need to see it.

You resisted responding to the intrusive thought, and for a moment, it felt like progress.Then the anxiety came back lou...
15/05/2026

You resisted responding to the intrusive thought, and for a moment, it felt like progress.

Then the anxiety came back louder.
The doubt got sharper.
Your brain started telling you that maybe you ignored something important. Maybe you pushed too hard. Maybe this means ERP isn’t working after all.

This is the part that so many people misunderstand about OCD treatment. When compulsions stop “working”, the nervous system often pushes harder before it settles. Not because you’re unsafe. Not because you’ve failed. Because your brain has learned that rituals, checking, reassurance, confessing, googling, or mentally reviewing have historically reduced distress quickly.

So when you stop responding to the intrusive thought in the usual way, the system protests.

That spike in anxiety is often called an extinction burst.

And while it can feel convincing, it is not proof that treatment is failing. It is not proof you should return to compulsions.

It is often the moment where recovery asks you to stay in the mess. Not perfectly. Not fearlessly. Just willingly, even if it’s with reluctance.

The goal of ERP is not to feel certain enough to move forward.
It is learning that you can keep moving forward with doubt and without certainty.

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