11/09/2026
I have mixed feelings about R U OK? Day.
I believe in the intention behind itโฆ
But sometimes I wonder whether weโve taken something deeply human and turned it into just a POSTER.
Because before we ask someone, โR U OK?โ perhaps the real question comes earlier:
Have I built enough of a relationship with this person for them to feel safe telling me theyโre not?
Even working alongside social workers, counsellors, psychologists and mental health professionals, Iโve noticed how little we sometimes know about the people we sit beside every day.
I remember times when I genuinely wasnโt okay. There were moments when I tried to let people in. Not asking them to fix anything, just allowing them to see that I was struggling.
Once, as I began to open up, a colleague said, โIโd like to know more about this, letโs talk later.โ
That conversation never happened.
I assumed they were busy, so another time, I tried again.
The same thing happened.
What stayed with me wasnโt simply that we didnโt find the time. It was the feeling that I had opened a small door into something vulnerable, and no one came back to it.
It made me realise how easily we can work alongside someone without ever really knowing them.
We can sit beside someone for months, even years, and our conversations rarely move beyond โHow was your weekend?โ or the weather.
Thereโs nothing wrong with small talk. But small talk alone doesnโt build connection.
Maybe some of this comes from my cultural background. I grew up with a different understanding of community and human connection.
So when I see workplaces where people arrive, complete their tasks and leave without ever really knowing one another, it feels strangely HOLLOW to me.
People can start to feel like functionsโฆ
โฆrather than human beings.
And then, one day a year, we put up a poster that asks, โR U OK?โ
So hereโs what I keep coming back to:
Know the person you sit next to.
Ask about what matters to them. Remember what they told you. Notice when theyโve gone quieter than usual. Let conversations go somewhere beyond work.
Make time for connection before someone is in crisis.
Because people donโt open up simply because we ask, โR U OK?โ
They open up when a relationship has already told them, quietly and over time:
๐๐ฝ Itโs safe here.
R U OK? shouldnโt just be a day.
It should be reflected in the relationships we build every day in between.