26/05/2026
I'm going to tell you my secret 🙊
Ooooo it makes me feel a little sick writing this but I would like to be free of it...
I have this weird belief that everyone hates me and if you don't at the moment, in time you will.
If you were to truly see me, you would see all the reasons to hate me.
There I wrote it...
I remember someone asking what belief would you like to be free from and I wrote (in secret lol)...
'I believe I am really hard to love'
I had an amazing session once with Judi Henning and she was doing her thing and in 1 of my chakras she found a thing and she goes 'you believe everyone hates you' ~ I was like yeah, yeah I do. She did her thing and I banked that in my to explore list 😆.
It's funny cause you would think I would be a people pleaser (to not feel hated), but I'm not. I actually don't seek to be liked, hate attention and yes I write everything on here but I do that for my healing and growth and maybe it might resonate with someone in the same space.
I can't even put my finger on when or how it came about. I wonder if it was when my marriage imploded or was it much earlier ?
It's why I started the Shadow work ~ I would always dream I was in murky water and it freaked me out to think what was lurking in it. I realised I was the water and my shadows were the things lurking. I understood for me to not be scared of what's lurking beneath, I had to get honest and brave, I had to look within, really really deeply inside, right to the bottom.
Now I'm no psychopath with scary impulses, so logically and rationally it's really odd to have this belief system. In fact, I genuinely haven't done anything so drastic for the world to hate me and yet this weird belief system exists.
This post is about showing you that the things we believe about ourselves are very real. It won't matter how much you tell me otherwise. It won't matter that I know how much light I have in me, that will balance out with all the darkness in me.
I really love the woman I am and becoming, this has got to be holding me back in ways I probably don't even realise so I'm digging deep to unravel this wee beastie. I imagine I've been trying to keep myself safe somehow with this old belief system. I bet it was useful for a time....
The deeper I go, the better work I do in session ~ seriously. We do this together ❤️ collectively ❤️