03/02/2022
Let's go gently on this one okay!
We all can fall under pressure wanting to do the “right thing” as a parent. We are also so relieved when we find that other parents are having a simular experience to us. We tend to fall into mother choirs that meet our needs to belong and be seen.
The sleep aspect is one I see play out time and time again.
I’m writing lets be gentle, but I’m also going to frank about my experience of mother sleep choirs.
We have the sleep choir that proclaim sleep training is amazing and share results of perfect full night sleepers from a week after implementing. Not realising that this may increase the chances of their child learning repression mechanisms, resulting in teenagers withdrawing from them, taking drugs and unable to handle big life challenges. (I have done this personally with my first - so no judgement)
Then we have the sleep choir that says that it’s all hard, frequent night waking is normal and just a challenging part of life you need to surrender to and focus on your child knowing that you are there for them 100%. This also can lead to children that repress their feelings or don’t get listened to because we are being so attentive to their needs and trying to stop the big feelings. These children can take on their parents overwhelm of how challenging it is to be available 24/7 (I did this with my 2nd - again no judgement)
In both these realities are we just passing our collective trauma around uncomfortable feelings and stress?
When we listen to our babies /children they tend to express exactly what’s going on. What they need in that moment is someone to love and listen.
This world is stressful, busy and can be scary for young children.
When we learn to listen to their reality they naturally heal.
Then they naturally sleep.
We will be exploring more in my Understanding Tears & Tantrums Workshop starting 14th of Feb