Social Skills Connect

17/07/2026

21/04/2026

New Service Announcement: Behaviour Support at Totoka Lodge

We are so excited to welcome Katherine Van Eede from Social Skills Connect to the Totoka Lodge team!

Katherine is an NDIS Behaviour Support Practitioner and Special Education Teacher with over 15 years of experience. She brings a beautiful, relationship-based approach to behaviour support—stepping away from traditional clinic walls and into the calm, grounding environment of the farm.

At Totoka Lodge, we believe in healing, learning, and growing in nature—and Katherine’s approach fits this perfectly.
________________________________________
How It Works
Katherine’s sessions take place in the peaceful, welcoming environment of Totoka Lodge, where participants are supported in open spaces alongside our horses and farm animals.

With horses available as part of the therapeutic experience, sessions naturally encourage trust, emotional regulation, confidence, and connection. The presence of animals, fresh air, and gentle routines helps create a sense of calm where real learning can take place without pressure.

This is a space where participants are encouraged to slow down, feel grounded, and engage in meaningful experiences at their own pace.

What this looks like in practice:
• Horse & Animal-Assisted Support: Gentle, guided interaction with horses and small animals to support emotional wellbeing, confidence, and connection.
• A Calm Farm Environment: Sessions held in a warm, outdoor setting designed to feel safe, open, and welcoming.
• NDIS Support Made Easy: Katherine manages Functional Behaviour Assessments (FBA) and Positive Behaviour Support Plans (PBSP), taking care of all required documentation.
• Home & Community Support: Continued support outside the Lodge to help integrate strategies into everyday life.
• Collaborative Approach: Close work with the Totoka Lodge equine team and each participant’s support network to ensure consistency and shared understanding.
• Clinical Oversight: All services are delivered under the supervision of Pamdon Consultants, ensuring high-quality and compliant NDIS practice.
________________________________________
Who is this for?

This service is ideal for NDIS participants with “Improved Relationships” funding who are looking for a supportive, relationship-based approach in a calm, outdoor environment.
________________________________________
Register Your Interest Today

We are currently gathering expressions of interest from participants who would like to access Katherine’s services here at Totoka Lodge.

To find out more or to register your interest, please contact Totoka Lodge.

We can’t wait to see this new offering grow within our community here at Totoka Lodge.

18/03/2026

Success Looks Different for Every Student

I want to talk about errorless learning and why, through a DIR lens, it can completely change things for a kid.

I worked with a student who had a significant trauma background and for him, failing at something wasn't just frustrating — it was unbearable. When he felt himself failing at a task, it would come out as violence toward staff and other students. Not because he was a bad kid, but because somewhere along the way failing had become so threatening that his body didn't know what else to do with it.

So rather than pushing through, I went back to basics. I wrote his goals so they were simple and genuinely achievable — things he could actually do — and every morning he had a small set of tasks that were well within his reach. His goals were up on the wall where he could see them, so that when he ticked them off, he could see that for himself. No one had to tell him. The evidence was right there.

The whole year wasn't about academics or hitting curriculum targets. It was about building something much more important — his belief that he could do things, that he could finish what he started, just like everyone else in that room.

That's errorless learning through a DIR lens. You're not dumbing things down, you're building a person up — until success stops feeling like a surprise and starts feeling like something they deserve. 💛

14/03/2026

The Practitioner’s Journal:

I hear it all the time from care teams: "they’re just not interested" or "they keep pushing it away."

Usually, they aren't rejecting the technology—they’re rejecting the pressure of being "correct." If the only time the iPad comes out is to make them "perform" or "request" a snack, it isn’t a voice. It’s a testing machine.

In D.I.R. Floortime, we follow the joy. I like to get on the floor and use the device myself, making mistakes on purpose. I’ll "accidentally" press Toilet when I meant Bubbles and have a laugh. When they see me mess up, the pressure to be perfect melts away.

I also use the "Gatekeeper" move. If I’m spinning them in a chair, I’ll stop and wait. I’ll model More or Go on the device, then immediately start spinning again. The device becomes the key that unlocks the fun, not a chore.

We don't expect a baby to talk without hearing us speak for a year first. They need to see us using their language to tell a joke, say "No" to something silly, or just share a moment.

Forget "Apple" or "Toilet" for now. Use words that give them real power:

More – to keep the good stuff going.

Stop – so they have the right to say no.

Wow! – to share the excitement.

07/03/2026

Something I notice often in my work is how hard transitions can be.

A child might be happily playing and then suddenly asked to stop and move to the next activity. What can look like refusal, throwing things, or running away is often just the person struggling with the change itself.

From a DIR/Floortime lens, a transition asks a lot — stopping, shifting attention, planning what comes next, and managing feelings about the change. That’s a big ask for some nervous systems.

I’ve found that slowing down helps. Joining the child first, giving a bit of warning, and supporting the shift together can make a big difference.

When we understand the why behind behaviour, we can support the person — not just try to stop the behaviour.

05/03/2026

The Joy in Connecting
I was working in a classroom today when a concern really presented itself. I was watching a student who would only engage if he had the computer; the second a "non-preferred" task appeared, he was out the door. It made me stop and ask the staff: "If we aren't giving him a reason to be here, why should he stay?"

The answer is the relationship. I noticed the natural urge to just launch into an activity and start "teaching," but I had to stop the team. We shifted gears and just followed his lead. When he picked up a piece of plastic food and brought it to his mouth, the staff member mirrored him.

I was quite direct: this isn't the time to drill colours or labels. When we jump straight into "teaching mode," we take over, and the connection is lost. Instead, we used what he was already doing to catch his interest and built from there. We want them to connect, and that joy in connecting is the real reason they stay.

04/03/2026

Thinking about Paulette and the "Group"

I’ve been thinking about the push for "social participation" in NDIS plans. There’s often this rush from activists and programs to get people with ASD into big groups—footy clubs, workshops, or busy day centres.

But as Dr. Stanley Greenspan famously said, we can't expect someone to manage a group when they haven't yet learnt to relate to one person.

For Paulette, throwing her into the "deep end" of a crowd doesn't build skills; it usually just causes sensory overload. If you don't have that 1:1 "tether" of communication and safety yet, a group isn't a social opportunity—it’s just noise.

My focus: Building the foundation first

Rather than just ticking a box to say she "attended an activity," I’m focusing on the skill of relating. It’s about:

Quality over quantity: One solid, back-and-forth connection is worth more than an hour of "sitting in" on a group.

The Foundation: Building the bridge between us first. Once she’s secure there, the rest follows.

True capacity building isn't about ticking a "social activity" box. It’s about honoring where the person is at. Connection starts with two, not twenty.

03/03/2026

The Practitioner’s Journal: Are we teaching, or just "completing"?

I spent some time today reflecting on a pattern I often see when working with children and young adults. We have our goals, we have our "passes," and we go through the motions. We bring out the visuals, the scripts, the modelling, and sometimes even hand-over-hand support.

But when I stop to actually evaluate the session, a tough question often arises: Who is actually doing the work?

Too often, if we look closely, the adult is the one driving 90% of the activity. The learner might be physically present, but they aren’t "tuned in." Without that internal engagement, we aren’t actually teaching a skill—we are just completing a task for the sake of completion.

02/03/2026

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about who’s actually "driving" when I’m working with someone. Usually, the answer is everyone except the person themselves. They spend so much of their lives being told where to walk, what to do, or when to just stop.

So when I’m out with a participant—especially if they struggle to connect—I don't just lead the way and expect them to keep up. I’ll just hold out my arm and wait. I wait for them to take it, and once they do, I let them lead.

I just follow wherever they want to go. If they want to speed up, or slow down, or head toward something that’s caught their eye, that’s where we go. I do this with everyone I support because when you spend your whole day being directed, you eventually just stop trying to start anything yourself. You stop trusting your own ideas and you just wait for the next instruction. It really chips away at who you are over time.

People ask why this matters so much from a BSP perspective. For me, it’s because my job isn't to "manage" someone or their "behaviours." It’s to help them find their own voice and a sense of agency again.

When someone feels heard—when they realise their choices actually mean something—the "behaviours" that people worry about often just start to fade. They don't need them to get a point across anymore because they finally have a say in what’s happening.

This is the heart of the D.I.R./Floortime approach. You meet them exactly where they are and let the relationship do the heavy lifting.

If you’re supporting someone who feels hard to reach, try stepping back. Just offer your presence, wait, and let them take you somewhere for a change.