30/12/2022
Helpful hints for creating and succeeding with your NY resolutions:
1. Include 4 WHYs with each specific resolution
“I want to _____ because_____” x4
2. Only share your goals with people who will support you to achieve them. You are under no obligation to share your goals.
3. Avoid a long list. Have 1 or 2 goals for January, then you can add another to Feb. etc. You are better to succeed in increments than sabotage due to overwhelm.
4. Align your goals with your core values, as our core values guide us when making all our decisions. For example, in a moment of weakness you will remind yourself that it’s not just about walking every day, it’s about your core value of health and fitness. If you align two or more core values to a goal, your likelihood of succeeding is even stronger.
Eg goal is to walk every day - fits with core values of health and fitness, family (you will be more energised for them), peace (will calm your nervous system), spirituality (being out in nature), friends (can call a friend whilst walking)… now going for a walk is something you WANT to do, not something you’re trying to avoid.
5. When you feel like giving up because of a negative emotion, such as sadness/anger/frustration after an unpleasant experience, take yourself to a quiet space and allow the emotion to pass through you. Emotions are like waves, they peak and then subside. Breathe through the emotion and return to a feeling of composure instead of sabotaging your goal and then feeling annoyed with yourself. Repeat this solitude and breathing as often as you need to.
6. Just do your best. Moment by moment- Just do your best - and if you ‘slip up’ then just get back on track with your goal as soon as you can. FORGIVE yourself and speak kindly to yourself, just as you would a child who makes a mistake. Don’t catastrophise about the slip up. Failing once or twice or three times does not make YOU a failure. Remind yourself about all the things you are doing ‘right’ in life, shifting your focus away from what you’ve done ‘wrong’. The sun will rise on a fresh day tomorrow, which is a fresh start for all of us.
7. Remember that your subconscious mind does not like change. It is hardwired for survival and comfort (familiarity). In the moments that you are not being consciously vigilant, your subconscious will run its old pattern and it will do its best to sabotage your efforts. It loves you and it thinks it is helping you by keeping you stuck in old patterns because CHANGE = NEW AND UNFAMILIAR, which to the safety oriented subconscious mind could = DANGER to your survival. This may seem ludicrous, but this is why we can stick with our goals for a short time (thanks to vigilance) but as soon as we relax or get distracted we fall back into old patterns.
The trick to long term success is convincing the subconscious that everything is OK and you are not under threat. How? Recognise when your subconscious is communicating with you via your Inner Critic. It will use words or emotions. Then IMMEDIATELY shift your focus to something more uplifting and encouraging. Every time you shift your focus away from its pessimism, you weaken the hold the Inner Critic has over you. This will make achieving goals far more likely for the rest of your life.
I hope you have found this summary useful. If you would like strategies that are guaranteed to subdue your Inner Critic, you will find them in my book ‘Shift your Focus Shift your Life’ available at:
www.designedtoshine.com.au
Wishing you a bountiful, joyous 2023.
💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓 Anna
Hi and welcome to Designed To Shine, a place to explore the cause of your limiting thoughts and behaviours and discover solutions. I offer virtual or in-person consultations for children and adults.
