12/08/2026
Is it me or the relationship?
This is something I see people grapple with a lot.
You're in a relationship. Something gets activated.
A tightening in your body. Thoughts that feel really convincing.
They don't really care. I can't trust this. Something's off.
And underneath it all, one question: is this my pattern, or is this a real problem?
The tricky part is, activation can feel the same either way. Whether it's coming from an old pattern, or something happening right now.
Often, it's not entirely one or the other.
I've written a bit more about how to tell the difference, and what to do when you're not sure, in a new article on my website.
Let me know what you think. Link in the comments.