20/07/2026
The lightbulb moment hit me this week, and ooofft did it hurt.
I finally understood why my empty nest is hitting so hard. So much harder than I thought it would.
If you feel like this, maybe this is for you.
I realised I wanted a do over.
Doing my own inner work has changed how I see my life.
A lighthouse for every choice ahead.
A hard mirror for every choice behind.
I loved all three of my kids the moment they were born.
But as the years passed, my anxiety and overwhelm grew with their height and personalities more than my broken self could keep up with.
There were years of missed presence, blurred by trying to keep my head above water.
Fifty two year old me is learning to give thirty five year old me grace.
Here’s where the lightbulb hits.
Now alI I want my babies all around me, under one roof.
Pouring love into them every day from my place of growth and understanding.
Closing their bedroom door each night, already looking forward to tomorrow’s memories.
Not hearing the click of the latch and feeling relief that the day is finally over.
Feeding them wisdom and love, instead of letting the TV and Xbox step in for me.
But here we are.
Two adults out in the world.
One still home, getting the new version of her mom.
Sometimes more than she’d like.
The do over I keep wishing for isn’t coming.
Those years are gone.
What’s left is what I do with the years I have.
This is my second chance.
Not to go back, but to show up for who they’re becoming.
Adult who are ahead if me in so many ways, raising our future ancestors.
Also….give me all the grandbabies please and thank you 😄
