23/08/2026
Self-Regulation
Self-regulation is not simply being calm, agreeable or compliant.
Being regulated means being connected to yourself and to the experience you are having. It is an alignment and awareness of what is happening within your mind, body and emotions.
Self-regulation does not mean avoiding difficult emotions or trying to make yourself feel calm. It means being able to stay connected to yourself through all emotions—including sadness, anger, fear, frustration, joy and excitement.
Rather than immediately reacting, suppressing an emotion or trying to change it, we can create a moment of space to:
Pause → Notice → Feel → Validate → Respond
The 90-Second Rule
Neuroscientist Dr Jill Bolte Taylor describes the idea that the body's initial physiological response to an emotional trigger can move through us in approximately 90 seconds. If the emotional response continues, our thoughts may be contributing to keeping the emotional cycle active.
This doesn't mean that every emotion disappears after 90 seconds. Instead, it can be a helpful invitation to pause and be present with what is happening inside you.
You might ask:
What am I feeling?
What is happening in my body?
What thoughts are present?
Can I allow and validate this experience without judging it?
What do I need right now?
Self-regulation becomes less about “I need to calm down” and more about:
“Can I stay connected to myself while I experience what I am feeling?”
