03/08/2026
This is Devi.
If you’ve met her, you’ll know exactly why I adore her.
She’s an Occupational Therapist who came to Australia on a skilled worker visa because Australia said we needed more OTs. She’s a business owner. She spends her days advocating fiercely for people with disability, neurodivergent people and families who deserve to belong in their communities. She’s also a mother, a tremendous cook and an even better friend.
On the weekend, someone hurled a racial slur at her from a passing car while she was out for an evening walk in her own neighbourhood.
Yesterday I sat across the table from one of my favourite humans while we talked about what we could do to maximise her safety in the very community she serves. Somewhere in the middle of that conversation, she made me dosa because we’d both realised we’d forgotten to eat.
That is Devi’s essence.
She is light. She is joy. And she takes care of her people, even when they should be taking care of her.
While she was cooking, she said something I haven’t been able to stop thinking about.
“You don’t have to tolerate me, but I expect you to respect me as a fellow human.”
That.
That is it. Right there.
That’s the conversation we should be having.
Devi contacted Mark Ryan MP about her experience and, whilst we both appreciated his prompt response and expression of disappointment, one phrase in his reply has stayed with me. He spoke about building tolerance in our communities.
But tolerance is a terribly low bar.
I don’t want my autistic clients to be tolerated.
I don’t want people with disability to be tolerated.
I don’t want people who communicate differently to be tolerated.
And I don’t want one of my closest friends to be tolerated because she wasn’t born in Australia.
I expect better than tolerance.
I expect respect.
We all should expect respect.
Not because someone has earned it.
Not because they’re highly skilled.
Not because they’re a business owner.
Not because they contribute to society.
Simply because they are another human being, made of the same stuff as you and me.
And here’s the thing…
I started this post by telling you Devi is an Occupational Therapist, a business owner, and an advocate.
But even if she wasn’t any of those things, she would still deserve exactly the same respect.
Because respect isn’t conditional.
It’s the minimum.
So, Mark Ryan MP and Terry Young MP, can I ask a genuine question?
What’s the plan to move our community beyond tolerance and towards respect?
Because nobody should have to make a safety plan simply because they exist.
Respect isn’t something people should have to earn.
It isn’t an aspiration.
It should be the minimum standard.
Devi, I’m so deeply sorry this happened to you.
Thank you for trusting me enough to sit beside you yesterday. Thank you for everything you do for our community and for me. I’m incredibly proud to call you my friend.
Let’s stop asking people to tolerate difference.
Let’s start expecting respect.
