02/03/2020
On Saturday I did a fantastic concert, singing my own songs and I loved it.
All my life I’ve been plagued by an internal dialogue, a voice, that tells me I’ve made a fool of myself, everyone is laughing at me, I’m an embarrassment.
And I’ve spent a lot of time, listening, questioning and challenging that voice and I know it’s not mine, but still it seems to have the capacity to side swipe me.
Even after all this inner work and therapy, (and a massive amount of fantastic comments from the audience) after the concert on Sunday when I woke there it was... that unkind, untrue voice and for a few moments I was back to my base self, reeling in anxiety and self hate, but I let it go, I sat with it and I felt my true voice say, “No, this is not me, this is not mine”.
It doesn’t matter how much work we do, there will always be moments that we fall back into the base response ‘hole’, but now, thanks to all the self discovery, I have 6 ladders, a parachute, and at least 4 long ropes to help me out if that hole and my true self at the top encouraging me.
Don’t loose hope, your true self is always there, shouting encouragement. 💚