04/06/2026
Martyr or Mother?
Who are you being?
A martyr or a mother?
This is a question I’ve been sitting with deeply, and one I’ve been sharing in my mothers’ circles.
So many of us carry the story that we have to do it all alone. We tell ourselves there is no village. We believe we should be able to hold everything, give everything, and need nothing.
Maybe the bravest thing a mother can do is ask for support.
But when we ignore our own needs and don’t ask for support, we reinforce that story and step into the role of the martyr.
The truth is, as human beings, we are naturally designed to be of service. Love, care, generosity, and devotion are already woven into our nature.
But receiving is part of the cycle too.
When we allow ourselves to be supported, we create space for others to give and strengthen the flow of true community.
As mothers, this is especially important.
When we’re overwhelmed, overstimulated, exhausted, and silently carrying the weight of everything, it’s easy to believe the answer lies somewhere outside of us.
“If only my partner changed.”
“If only I had more time.”
“If only life looked different.”
But transformation begins when we take responsibility for our needs and honour them.
When we ask for help.
When we choose self-care without guilt.
When we remember that our wellbeing matters.
Because when a mother is supported, everyone around her benefits.
Our children feel it.
Our partners feel it.
Our communities feel it.
This isn’t about carrying more pressure.
It’s about reclaiming our power.
It’s about choosing to stop waiting for life to change and instead becoming active participants in creating the life we desire.
We are not prisoners to our circumstances.
We are here to create heaven on earth.
We are here to experience joy, connection, beauty, and support.
But it begins with asking:
Where am I still believing I have to do it alone?
Where am I waiting for something outside of myself to change?
Where am I still unfree?
Perhaps this is the next stage of motherhood.
Not sacrificing ourselves for everyone else.
But remembering that when we nourish the mother, everyone thrives.
In love Mama Joy xx