05/10/2026
I went a little quiet on here.
Not because I had nothing to say, but because I had too much to say, and none of it felt ready to be turned into content.
Life got really fu***ng human for a while.
There was grief, anger, betrayal, confusion, loneliness, love, relief, fear, joy, sadness and a whole lot of… blurgh.
Instead of rushing through it, I made a conscious decision to actually be in it. To embody the experience rather than intellectualise my way out of it.
Because I know how to do the work. I know how to regulate, journal, breathe, move, meditate, find the lesson and look for the glimmer.
But sometimes even healing can become another way of saying, “I don’t want to feel this anymore.”
So I let grief feel like grief. I let anger move through me. I let myself miss something while still knowing it wasn’t right for me. I let myself be grateful and still have heavy days.
I stopped asking, “How do I get out of this?” and started asking, “What would it look like to stay with myself while I’m here?”
Because embodiment isn’t only feeling grounded, peaceful or powerful.
Sometimes it’s crying when you’re sad. Resting when you’re exhausted. Feeling the tightness in your chest without trying to fix it. Letting anger show you where a boundary has been crossed. Letting grief remind you that something mattered.
Some days I was sad. Some days I was fu***ng angry. Sometimes I missed what I knew I didn’t want back.
And all of it was allowed.
You don’t have to turn every painful season into a breakthrough. You don’t have to rush to gratitude or find the lesson while you’re still living it.
Sometimes the work is simply experiencing your life fully without abandoning yourself when it gets uncomfortable.
I didn’t disappear. I just stopped looking outward for a while and went inward.
And slowly, without forcing it, I’ve started finding my way back out.
Not as the woman I was before, but more deeply here. More willing to feel, trust myself, and let life be messy, beautiful, painful and joyful, sometimes all in the same bloody day.
Maybe that’s the point.
Not transcending the human experience.
Embodying it. 🤍
