05/05/2026
HOW TO KNOW WHEN YOU AREN'T WILLING TO LOOK AT YOURSELF
Refusing to examine your own behaviours, thoughts and beliefs is part of the human condition. It often appears as a deflective default reflex to avoid blame, making every problem about the other person. This piece is here to help you recognise that pattern, explain why it matters and offer practical steps towards honest self-reflection without shame, or referring to the process of doing so as, “bullsh*t or rubbish'.
We are designed to shield ourselves from perceived and potential threats, so avoiding personal reflection becomes a way of protecting the fragility of one’s self image and life narrative by redirecting focus outward instead of asking what you contributed to a situation. Over time this becomes an automatic autonomic nervous system response. Each time you receive feedback you may perceive it as an attack, which becomes a reason to be unwilling to participate in resolving the roots of recurring conflicts. You dismiss them with rash explanations rather than asking why you said or did what you did, and you keep the focus on how others handled, expressed or behaved. This keeps others always being the 'wrongous' and lets you remain in the 'righteous.'
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The Path Clearer
