19/08/2026
One of the biggest things Iāve learnt since leaving my marriage is that starting again doesnāt mean becoming someone else.
Sometimes, itās actually about slowly finding your way back to yourself.
Itās been nearly two years since I left my marriage, and I was asked today whether Iād changed my last name yet. It was such a simple question, but it really made me stop and think.
The truth is, Iāve never really wanted to.
Iāve been Bec Laws for 31 years. Before that, I had a different surname for only 18 years. So Iāve actually been Bec LAWS for almost twice as long as I was anything else.
Itās the name my friends have known me by, the name my community knows me by, the name Iāve built my working life around. Somewhere along the way, it stopped feeling like a surname I had because I was married. It just became my name š¤·āāļø
I think divorce has a funny way of making you question who you are. Who am I now? What do I actually want? What parts of my old life still feel like me? & what parts am I ready to leave behind?
For me, the work Iāve done on myself these past couple of years hasnāt been about becoming a completely different person. Itās been about coming back to myself. Learning to listen to my own voice, getting comfortable with what I want the rest of my life to look like, letting go of things that no longer fit & learning that moving forward doesnāt mean you have to throw everything from your old life away.
I donāt need a different name to be a different woman.
So, will I change my last name? Probably not.
Not because Iām holding onto the past, but because after 31 years, it feels like mine.
Maybe thatās what starting again really is. Not becoming someone completely new, just having the courage to come home to yourself.
Iām still figuring out who this version of Bec is.
But I quite like her.
And letās be honest, Laws is considerably easier to spell than my maiden name was. So thereās that š