21/04/2026
𝗟𝗼𝗻𝗴-𝗱𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗹𝗼𝘀𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗼𝗹𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝘂𝗻𝗶𝘁𝘆
Many of us who have moved to another country, especially when we were young, don’t really think about what it will mean as our parents or siblings grow older. Living far away from the place we grew up, and where much of our family still is, brings its own challenges.
Transnational bereavement and anticipatory grief can feel especially complex. It often carries extra layers of guilt or regret.
We also often don't anticipate what it might be like for ourselves later in life: growing older or getting sick, far away from a place we once might have called home, but which by now has become more a part of our memories.
Of course, many people build strong networks where they are: family, friends, a real sense of belonging. And yet, for some, there remains a deep wish to return to where they grew up. When that isn’t possible, it can bring its own kind of sadness and pain.
There is some comfort in the fact that staying connected today is far easier than it once was. We no longer have to rely on letters crossing oceans or wait anxiously for a call to come through. Messages, video chats, and easy phone access allow us to stay close, even across thousands of kilometres.
A quick daily check-in with someone in hospital or receiving palliative care, speaking directly with doctors, or simply being present with family during difficult moments, these small things can soften what is otherwise a very hard experience. Even attending a funeral online, while not the same, can ease the pain of not being there in person, being part of rituals that are so necessary.
For those who can’t - or choose not to - return, there is support as well. Near the end of life, it’s not uncommon to feel a little unmoored, even in a country that has become home. But while dying is deeply personal, it doesn’t have to be faced alone. Grief, too, can be held by a community.
Support might come from people who share your language, understand your cultural rituals, or are simply willing to sit beside you. That is what End-of-Life Doulas can provide, but just as often it’s also family, friends, neighbours, or colleagues who step in.
Compassionate communities matter so much. Knowing that there are people around you who are willing to show up, to care, and to support one another can make a real difference. Especially during times we need it most.
Ph: mark timberlane@unsplash
