25/03/2026
The hyper-policing of women's bodies, sexuality, reproduction & mother is a characteristic of coercive control in high-demand groups.
Repost .real.blissfulherbs..
"Why is your baby so clingy?"
"You're spoiling that baby!"
"You're making a rod for your own back!"
"You need to put him down SOMEtime!"
"She's just manipulating you!"
This is about the "high-need" or "velcro" baby.
The one that wants to sleep on you, not just next to you.
The one that wants to be carried & held 24/7
I didn't experience this until #4
William & Martha Sears, the 'parents' of Attachment Parenting, didn't experience this until #7
But why are clingy babies pathologized in our culture?
Babies are wise. They know what they need.
There are many cultures where it's just normal to carry babies around until they're mobilizing independently.
It's crossed my mind that this particular little baby, somehow *knew* that her beloved mama was in harm's way, and clung to her to somehow protect *her*, as well as herself.
But even worse than unsolicited advice is when it's spiritualitized.
The mother was called up to altar to have evil spirits "broken off" her & the baby, because her toddler being so clingy was getting in the way of the mother participating in church events.
Note they didn't offer more practical support for the mother.
That is spiritual abuse.
It is also an example of how patriarchy seeks to break close bonds between mothers & daughters, and is threatened by attachments & influence that they do not understand & cannot control.
That "coddled" baby is now a superb, sentient, independent young person, still with the wisdom & empathy she had as a baby.
Let's not pathologize - or worse still, demonize - the velcro baby. Instead - support the parents.
In a society sick with separation, this stuff is radical.
Connection. Attachment. Bonding.
Weaving the fabric of community.
The velcro baby is not a problem. It's a canary. Showing us the path to healing.
If you know anyone exhausted caring for a velcro baby right now ... gather around them. Don't try to fix or change anything. Just love them, and be there for them.
🌿💜🌿
