16/06/2026
For a few weeks my energy had been withdrawn and happily seeking solitude (not too different from normal but stronger) .
Well Friday it came to a head. A small disagreement had triggered me from the night before.
Early morning I was processing some things. As people stirred I chose to go to the beach.
Then it all came pouring out. The younger me, she was so angry, rage full. She screamed and side punched the car door. (Which really hurt as I was wearing new bracelet that dug into me)
Over thirty years of carrying this weight/anger evaporated as I screamed , yelled and ugly cried.
Fk didn’t know she was still carrying the weight of that particular memory.
I was about 16…I’m now 50…..the younger me was mad. I won’t go into the details. Not today at least.
As the pain started to vibrate on my bone where I had struck the door and the beads caught in the middle…. I started to breathe, then I was like ‘block it out’. That’s what I used to do when I was young. If a got slugged in the arm, it would hurt, I learnt that I wasn’t fast enough to return a hit, that no one would believe me, so I learnt to block out the pain.
So as I did this I released…. Hmm another pattern to let go of.
More tears , more snot.
That’s how my healing looks
Observing myself, self enquiry, expression, release.
Training would tell me there’s a few more steps I could have done. But that was enough.
It was huge.
Energies are pushing people atm.
Ask what’s getting your heckles up.
