Beyond The Trauma

Beyond The Trauma Where Inner-Child Healing Meets
Whole-Body Wellness

Safe to feel again Thankyou for being curious enough to have a look at my page. No joy.

I've worked in the wellbeing/social work/mental health field in all modalities for over 20 years. I worked predominantly in secondary colleges with challenging adolescents and also primary schools as the wellbeing worker. I have also worked as the youth counsellor at headspace, and in Adult Mental Health as a Mental Health Worker. In amongst all of that, I suffered a severe and prolonged traumatic event that had me believing my life would not be worth living again. The challenges I endured were debilitating. I thought my life would forever be in a state of survival. No future to look forward to. That is, until I learnt to listen to my body. To get out of my head and connect back to the body. To face my fear! The therapy I am certified in has literally changed the way my nervous system responds. I no longer sit in hypervigilance (which I thought was my “new” normal baseline). This form of therapy is specifically designed to support and help heal your body, that can operate differently after trauma. Once your body and soul knows it's healing, it craves more. If you had asked me if I was going to launch my own business, I would have said no way! But when I realised that while studying this therapy, I was actually healing myself. Once I knew how good and healing this was, I had to share with the world! Having this professional background and personal experience has supported me to become a compassionate, caring trauma-informed therapist using guidance and grace while connecting and holding a session with you. Something (or someone) led you to click on my profile, so let’s schedule a free phone call so I can hear your story and answer any questions you may have.

When Being “The Centre” Didn’t Feel Safe!As children, we are naturally egocentric. Our brains are wired to believe the w...
14/09/2026

When Being “The Centre” Didn’t Feel Safe!

As children, we are naturally egocentric. Our brains are wired to believe the world revolves around us. In a safe, nurturing environment, this builds confidence, security, and emotional regulation.

But in a home shaped by dysfunction, emotional neglect, or unmet needs, that same wiring creates something very different.
Because as a child, you can’t make sense of a parent’s pain, absence, or overwhelm. So, you make it about you.

Mum is sad - I caused it. Dad is angry - I’m the problem.

(I’m not being seen or nurtured - there must be something wrong with me).

It has to be you, because the alternative, that those responsible for loving and protecting you couldn’t, is too overwhelming for a young nervous system to hold.

So, you create meaning. You internalise beliefs. And those beliefs quietly shape your inner world. This is why trauma isn’t just about what happened to you, it’s about what you made it mean about you.

As you grow, those early beliefs don’t just disappear. They show up in how you see yourself, in your relationships, and in how safe it feels to be seen, to have needs, or to take up space. Your inner critic was born through the words of how your mother spoke to you. The way she spoke to you becomes your inner critic that you battle with everyday

So, when you try to step into something more - more confidence, more visibility, more expansion - a part of you moves forward… and another part pulls you back.

Not because you’re broken. But because a part of you learnt it wasn’t safe.

This is where so many people get stuck; not from lack of desire or capability, but from unresolved patterns rooted in their early years.
And this is the work I do.

My sessions are created with safety at the core. We move at a pace that feels right for you, with gentle guidance, support, and reassurance every step of the way. There is no forcing, no pressure; just a space where you are understood, where your story is honoured, and where we make sense of why you’re here.

Through this work, we begin to uncover the root of those beliefs. Where they started, how they were formed, and the version of you that had to carry them. From there, we don’t just “talk about it”, we begin creating a new internal pathway for you to walk forward with clarity, self-trust, and emotional safety.

Because you’ve never had a motivation or manifestation problem.
You’ve had a part of you that’s been trying to protect you all along.
We gently go to the root. We explore where these beliefs were formed and begin to understand the younger part of you who adapted in order to survive. From there, real change becomes possible. Not by forcing growth, but by creating safety within.

Send me a message so we can book your 30-minute call, where I get to hear your why; what brought you here and what you’re truly seeking. I’ll share some insights, offer you powerful nuggets from this work, and guide you through a simple exercise to help you start finding the answers within yourself.

If you’re feeling called to explore this and would like me to walk beside you as you navigate this new pathway, I promise to walk alongside you for as long as you need me. DM me so we can begin together. Jo 💛 Safe to Feel Again

For Anyone Who had to Grow Up Too Fast!In 1997, so many parents still believed physical punishment was just a normal par...
14/09/2026

For Anyone Who had to Grow Up Too Fast!
In 1997, so many parents still believed physical punishment was just a normal part of discipline. For some Gen X kids, and for so many children in different homes, families, cultures, and situations, growing up meant being hit, shamed, dismissed, ignored, blamed, or left to cope alone. And too often, that was called "toughening up", not trauma

Some of us grew up with VCR's, unsupervised afternoons, Saturday morning cartoons, and things happening in the house that no one was allowed to talk about.

Cartoons in the morning. Chaos at night. Adults saying, "you're fine", "Stop crying", "don't answer back", "that didn't happen", or 'other people have it worse", "Stop being so ungrateful". "You're such an attention seeker".

And the truth is, a lot of us care carrying things we didn't even know had a name. We just thought that was life. We just thought that was childhood. We just learnt to keep going

But trauma isn't always loud. Sometimes it's the home where no one says, "I love you". No routine. No calm. No protection. No one believing you. No safe adult. No proper boundaries. No emotional support. No one teaching you how to feel, say sorry, repair, rest, trust, ask for help, or to love yourself

Lack can be trauma too. Lack of love. Lack of stability. Lack of being seen. Lack of routine. Lack of accountability from adults. Lack of a safe space to land

And now, so many of us are in our 40's, 50's, 60's..... parents, grandparents, and still quietly trying to look after the little version of us that never really got what they needed. We're starting to realise the shutdown, the people-pleasing, the anger, the anxiety, the perfectionism, the fear of conflict, the need to over-explain, the struggle to receive love, and the guilt we feel when we finally rest...they might not be personality flaws. These might be how we adapted and learnt to survive. Over-explaining is a common trait. I know because that was one of my adaptations, along with people-pleasing.

And for some of us, becoming a grandparent feels like another chance. Not a clean slate. Not a way to pretend the past didn't happen. But a chance to love softer. To listen better. To be calmer. To believe them. To be the safe place we wished we had, even while we're still grieving what we didn't know how to give before

For me, being a Nan has made me see things I can't unsee. It has shown me the kind of love, patience, softness, safety and steadiness I wished I had known how to give my own children when I was younger, overwhelmed, criticised, judged, unsupported, and still trying to survive things I didn't have the words for

I can't go back. I can't undo what I didn't know. And that grief is heavy. But I can keep choosing differently now.

We are the pattern breakers and the map-makers now...clearing away what was never ours to carry, choosing what comes with us, and trusting that the important parts stay.

Because healing isn't only the soft parts. It's also meeting the shadow side of us; the anger, the grief, the shame, the fear, the protection, the parts we pushed down because there was never room for them to be heard. And maybe the work isn't to hate those parts, but to walk towards them with more understanding than they were ever given.

Maybe this is where healing becomes something we can actually see. Not as a perfect road. More like a path we are clearing bit by bit, with every truth we face, every old belief we question, and every piece of pain we decide not to pass on

We are learning what was never ours to carry, what still belongs to our heart, and how to walk forward with enough softness, courage, and safety that the ones coming after us don't have to find their way through the dark alone

Send me a message if you see yourself in my words. We can create your own way forward together; one that helps you put down what was never yours, keep the important parts, and feel safe enough to become who you were always meant to be

I know what it feels like to move through life without someone fully in your corner; as a child, a teenager, a single mum, a wife, a daughter, and a sister. So now, if I can be that person to someone else, even in the smallest way, I will. You won't be doing this alone. I promise. Jo 💛 Safe To Feel Again.


The beauty of being your own boss!Gosh i never would have thought i would ever say those words. Im not competitive, or a...
31/08/2026

The beauty of being your own boss!

Gosh i never would have thought i would ever say those words. Im not competitive, or ambitious, money driven etc. I loved the work I did, and this is where i am happy

I had no desire to be a team leader, and move up the ladder because that took me away from where I worked best. Where my passion lied. Where I could see the work evolve in front of me. Advocating for those who couldn't. Providing a safe space for some who have never felt it. To listen to their story and believe them. To see what their world looked like. I didnt want to let that go 😔

My soul/highest self, didn't like the path I was on, so to course correct, there needed to be much bigger influences to step out of my comfort zone.

I was forced to take that first step on my new pathway, and I did it with such resistance. I wanted to claim back what was my right...I wanted to bring myself back to me! I lived, (for, 2+ years), where decisions made for me weren't from me, they were from others; my medical team and my family. Now (back then), I cut the cord, by being back into a space where I was in control of my life! Me! Just me!

And...as i am claiming my independence, day by day, hitting goals and meeting targets, the path changed. What! No! Its not happening. This is not the life i chose. I am in control!

For years I fought this. I fought it for as long as i could...until I couldn't

Taking myself out of my comfort, alone and scared, was rough. I needed rescuing but there was no one to support me, in the way I need it. Dont get me wrong, family and friends, are great and its not that i dont have the support, because I do; however, they can only give you what they have. What they think is best. What their decisions would be. How they would think, feel, want. But theirs is not yours and this is where it falls down. Even though it comes from a space of love, their love/support comes with conditions.

An example of this could be seeing a close friend/family member crying and their crying is making you feel awkward. So, you say or do something silly to try to cheer them up. You give advice thinking this is helpful. But, it's actually for us because you need them to strop crying because you dont like how its making you feel

Now, as im trying to find the best way to describe that version back then, I look at the words used to describe this moment in my life, and upon reflection can I objectively say, how brave it was to take those steps on the new path. I dont give myself enough credit with being where I am now.

I love my life. I love my job. I did this. I created it. And im finally giving myself permission to acknowledge that I did it and to thank that version that took that step to get me to where I am now. Im a lot braver than I realised. So grateful

Jo 💛 Safe To Feel Again

My office today 🥰 🌸☀️

Welcome back to Your Creativity!There comes a time in healing when something beautiful begins to happen.You start creati...
26/08/2026

Welcome back to Your Creativity!
There comes a time in healing when something beautiful begins to happen.
You start creating again.
You make a fairy garden.
You start that mosaic you’ve been thinking about.
You plant flowers
You paint
You rearrange your home
You take up an old hobby
You make plans for the future
You find yourself playing, exploring and having fun again
And it might look like something small to someone else…
…but it isn’t small
Because when you have spent a long time in survival mode, your energy is consumed by one thing:
Surviving
When your nervous system is constantly scanning for danger, there isn’t much space left for imagination, play, creativity or dreaming about tomorrow
Survival asks, “What do I need to do to get through today?”
Creativity asks, “What could I make? What could I imagine? What would bring me joy?”
So, when creativity starts returning, celebrate it.
Because sometimes the fairy garden isn’t just a fairy garden
The mosaic isn’t just a mosaic
The garden isn’t just a garden
It can be a sigh that you’re beginning to feel safe enough to live again
You are moving beyond simply surviving
You are reconnecting with curiosity
With play
With possibility
With joy
With the parts of you that had to go quiet while you were getting through the hardest seasons
So, if you’ve started creating again…
Welcome Back!
May your home become filled with little acts of creation May your hands make beautiful things. May your imagination become louder than you fear.
And, may you discover that there is so much more to life than surviving it
For those still in survival mode, please know that this doesn’t mean you’ve failed or that you’re behind. Survival mode is often what helps you make it through. You don’t have to force yourself to create before you’re ready.
Sometimes healing begins with resting, breathing, getting through the day and offering yourself the compassion you needed all along
But when you feel ready (and it will happen), to create again, even in the smallest ways let that be enough
Maybe it’s a bowl of alfredo you made for yourself. Maybe it’s a little sculpture that looks like a child created it.
In a way, it was
It was created by that little person inside you who was left neglected, silenced or left without the safety and care they deserved for so long
What may look trivial to someone else can be deeply meaningful to you. These small acts can be evidence that a part of you is returning, reaching for joy and learning that it is allowed to take up space
And if you would like support from someone who has lived through this, I invite you to connect with me. Through the hard work of facing my own trauma, I found my way back to creativity, and I know how powerful it can be to have someone beside you who understands the journey. Send me a dm, so we can start creating. Jo 💛Safe To Feel Again

My polymer clay fairy home, my fairy garden near my chook shed, a meal I felt very proud making (and it was delish😋), choosing the paint colour for my backyard bedroom, and my backyard bedroom I spoke into existence




25/08/2026

🌿 A little update — and perhaps the beginning of something beautiful 🌿
Hi beautiful ladies 💛
Firstly, thank you so much to you all who expressed interest in our original women’s workshop. It honestly touched my heart to see how many of us are craving connection, community, friendship and a safe place to simply be ourselves.
At this stage, the Namaste Yoga component isn’t available, so rather than let this beautiful opportunity disappear, I’d love to ask you something…
Would you like to create something with me? 🌿
I’m thinking of a Saturday gathering at the space that had the biggest recommendation — Bundalong Cottage. We bring cushions on the floor, sitting in a circle, sharing food, stories, laughter, maybe tears, and simply getting to know one another.
There would be no pressure to speak or share. Just a safe, welcoming space where we can connect.
I’d love for each woman who wants to contribute to bring something small that has helped her reconnect with herself; perhaps a breathing exercise, a meditation (up to 5 minutes), a vagus nerve regulation exercise, something about feeling safe in your body, authenticity, self-worth… or simply something you wish you had known earlier in life.
I can open our gathering with a gentle grounding exercise and share a little about what I do through my business that I studied due to being diagnosed with ptsd after a traumatic and prolonged event. I found a course that brought me back to me. It was life changing for me. My business, Beyond the Trauma; in very simple terms, it’s about understanding what happens to us through trauma and life experiences, learning to feel safe within ourselves again, reconnecting with our emotions and our authentic selves, and finding our way back to living rather than simply surviving.
And perhaps most importantly, I want to create women supporting women. ❤️
I moved here knowing nobody. I’m not part of a sporting group, Pilates group or other community where friendships naturally form, and I know how difficult it can be to find your people. I also know what it feels like to disappear from community.
After my significant trauma, I was away from the community for around two years. When I returned, I desperately tried to get back to my “normal”, only to eventually realise that my old normal had disappeared when I experienced my trauma. If only I had understood that then.
For five years I pushed that boulder uphill, trying to get back to where I thought I should be, until eventually I burnt myself out.
Through healing, understanding and acceptance, I’ve come to realise that the space I’m in now is actually a beautiful one. And now, as I move through menopause and another enormous chapter of change, I’m reminded again just how much women move through in our lives.
We need each other. My vision for this isn’t another group where we compare ourselves, compete or feel like we need to have it all together. It’s about connection, compassion, authenticity, laughter, vulnerability, passion, love and belonging. A heart-led, soul-connecting circle of women. 💛
🌸 The practical bits
The hall costs $100, with a $300 deposit required. I’m happy to cover that upfront, and if you feel comfortable, there will simply be an opportunity for a cash contribution on the day to help cover the cost.
Bring something to eat; homemade or bought, it really doesn’t matter. Bring your own drinks. And if you have ideas about what you’d love this gathering to look like, please share them!
This will simply be a trial gathering. If we love what we create together, we can talk about continuing with regular women’s support circles.
And my hope is that when my beautiful friend is able to join us, she can bring her own knowledge and practices to contribute to this circle through her skills supporting with supporting our bodies, hearts and ourselves too. 🌿
So…Who here would love to create this space with me? Not something I create for you. Something we create together. If this speaks to your heart, comment YES 💛 or send me a private message. I’d really love to know who is ready to sit in the circle. 🌸
If this sounds like something you’d love to be part of, I’d also love to create a private Facebook group specifically for the Women’s Circle – a space where we can connect, share ideas and get to know each other before or after the gathering. Let me know if you would like that and I will create it and send invitations to join
Jo 💛
Beyond the Trauma

P.S I have sent the link to all that expressed an interest and currently have members on here, however, one member from BTT sent me a screen shot showing the link I sent is unavailable. If you are one of these who's link doesn't work, please dm me. If any of you women have not seen the previous posts around the EOI workshop and would like to be a part of this gathering circle, please also dm me :)

With Shazzy Campbell Art – I just made it onto their weekly engagement list by being one of their top engagers 🎉Back to ...
22/08/2026

With Shazzy Campbell Art – I just made it onto their weekly engagement list by being one of their top engagers 🎉

Back to Me! My story in art 🥰

I Don't Just Talk About Healing. I Live It.I've been sitting with whether to share this. There are only 3 or 4 people wh...
22/08/2026

I Don't Just Talk About Healing. I Live It.
I've been sitting with whether to share this. There are only 3 or 4 people who have known this part of my story. I never told my family. Because I was raised to believe that when things went wrong…

it was my fault.

And when you grow up believing that you learn to stay quiet about the things you believe you'll be punished for, taunted and teased about, or the things where you fear no one will be on your side.
You learn not to make a scene. You learn not to cause trouble. You learn to keep the peace. You learn to carry things alone.

Recently, I found myself brave enough to report historical sexual assault that happened to me when I was a young teen and a young adult. Two different incidents. Two different perpetrators. One was a work colleague's husband, who I'll call S. The other was a man I'll call G, who was an adult when I was a young teenager. Two very different periods of my life. And I had absolutely no idea where making those reports would lead me.

I'd never walked this path before.

The detectives who worked with me were incredibly supportive and compassionate. My reports will remain on file. One of the Detectives let me know that she has had one person confess to their actions. Sometime miracles are what I call them. But the outcome for me wasn't what I had hoped for. There wasn't sufficient evidence to support a prosecution for either account. And that was hard.

Really fu***ng hard.

Prior to making the report, I did something that took courage. Something I needed to do for myself. I reached out to S on Facebook. I told him what I remembered. I told him what I had carried. I told him that I had never been able to forget his actions that night. Of course, he couldn't remember. But I told him I was going to report it. And strangely enough…just knowing that he knew was satisfying.

Because for so many years, I had carried the shame. I carried the memories. I carried the silence. And in that moment, it felt like I had finally handed some of that shame back to the person it belonged to.

It was his. Not mine.

But with G, it was different. I wasn't lucky enough to put even a little fear into him. I wasn't able to make him wonder whether there might be consequences for what he did. I wanted him to feel what I had felt. I wanted him to understand what his actions had done. I wanted him to experience the fear of possible prosecution. I wanted him to carry the shame and humiliation that I had carried for so many years. Along with being bullied, called a liar, vial names. My reputation spread by girls and laughed at by boys. It was relentless. Told it was my fault not G's. It was mine of course. I baited him. I lured him to me. I do anything I can to bring them to me. Because that is what I do according to my peers. That was just as painful as the r**e itself. But G doesn't even know he's been reported as a ra**st. My desire to shame him, that wasn't going to happen. And I had to sit with that. I drove home after speaking with the detectives and cried. I became angry. I became sad. I became frustrated. I felt powerless. I felt so many things.

But there was one thing I did not become.

A victim living with shame. No fu***ng way. That younger girl did what she needed to do to survive. She endured something she never should have had to endure. And she did it alone. And she did it scared. And she did it hating herself. But she isn't alone anymore.
Because I am here now. I became her voice. Her protector. Her advocate. Her biggest fan.

Her hero. And I am learning to walk beside her instead of abandoning her.

This experience has also brought me back to something I've spoken about throughout my years working with young people. When I was a Headspace counsellor and a high school social worker, I made sure the young people I worked with understood something incredibly important:
Silence is not consent.

Not hearing "no" does not mean you have heard "yes." Consent needs to be freely given. And someone can freeze🙋‍♀️ Someone can become frightened🙋‍♀️. Someone can feel unable to speak 🙋‍♀️. Someone can say yes because they are afraid of what might happen if they say no. Especially when they've learned from an early age that they're supposed to keep someone else happy🙋‍♀️
Don't cause a scene. Don't create drama. Don't upset him. Don't make trouble.
Be a good girl.

Looking back, I can understand how those messages shaped my own ability to speak up. How do you find your voice when you've been taught that using it could make things worse? How do you say STOP when you've learned that keeping the peace is safer?
This is why conversations about consent, coercion, boundaries and safety matter so much. We need to teach our children that their voice matters. That their body belongs to them. That they don't owe anyone compliance. That they are allowed to say no. And that silence, freezing or being unable to fight back is never an invitation for someone else to continue.

And here's the part of my story that matters most to me now.
I am still healing.

I'm still working through the emotions that come up. And they do come up. Anger. Grief. Sadness. Fear. Relief. Powerlessness. Strength. Some days I feel like I've got this. Other days something catches me completely off guard. And that's okay. Because healing isn't a once-off event. It isn't, "I've dealt with that, so I'm done."

Trauma doesn't work like that. We can work through something and then find another layer underneath it. We can feel an emotion we thought we'd already processed. We can be triggered by something we didn't expect. We can move forward and still have days where we need to stop and feel. That's not failure.

That's healing.

And this is why I believe so deeply in the work I do. Because I am not standing on the other side of trauma telling you how to heal. I'm walking the path too. I'm walking the walk. If I encourage and support the people who choose me to walk beside them on their healing journey…but refuse to do that same thing for myself…
what kind of thera**st would I be?

No. That is not me. I don't need to have everything perfectly healed to support someone else. But I do need to be willing to keep doing my own work. To keep turning toward the parts of myself I'd rather avoid. To keep listening when my body tells me something needs attention. To keep giving my younger self the voice, protection and compassion she deserved all those years ago. Because I know what it feels like to carry something alone. I know what it feels like to be ashamed of something that was never yours to carry. And I know how powerful it can be when someone finally says:

"I believe you." "It wasn't your fault." "You don't have to carry this alone anymore."

So, if you're reading this and you're carrying something you've never been able to say out loud…I want you to know something. You don't have to tell me your story before you're ready. You don't have to have the words. You don't have to be "fixed." And you don't have to walk this path perfectly.

You just have to take the next step.

Awareness. Curiosity. Safety. Compassion. And slowly, learning to come home to yourself. This is why I do what I do. Not because I've escaped trauma. But because I've learned that trauma does not get to have the final say about who I become. And neither does yours.
And if something in my story has touched something within you…

Maybe you've been carrying something for years. Maybe you're exhausted from pretending you're okay. Maybe you know there are patterns you keep repeating, but you don't understand why.

Or maybe you simply have this quiet feeling that you're ready for something to change. You don't need to have the words. You don't need to know exactly what you need. And you don't need to tell me your whole story.

You can simply reach out. We can start with a conversation. No judgement. No pressure. No expectations. Just a safe space to be heard, to be curious about what's happening beneath the surface, and to begin understanding the parts of you that have been carrying too much for too long. You don't have to walk into healing knowing exactly where the path will lead.

You just need enough courage to take the first step.
And if you're ready…I'll walk beside you. Jo💛Safe to Feel Again

I Don't Just Talk About Healing. I Live It.
I've been sitting with whether to share this. There are only 3 or 4 people who have known this part of my story. I never told my family. Because I was raised to believe that when things went wrong…
it was my fault.
And when you grow up believing that, you learn to stay quiet about the things you believe you'll be punished for, taunted and teased about, or the things where you fear no one will be on your side.
You learn not to make a scene. You learn not to cause trouble. You learn to keep the peace. You learn to carry things alone. Recently, I found myself brave enough to report historical sexual assault that happened to me when I was a young teen and a young adult. Two different incidents. Two different perpetrators. One was a work colleague's husband, who I'll call S. The other was a man I'll call G, who was an adult when I was a young teenager. Two very different periods of my life. And I had absolutely no idea where making those reports would lead me.
I'd never walked this path before.
The detectives who worked with me were incredibly supportive and compassionate. My reports will remain on file. One of the Detectives let me know that she has had one person confess to their actions. Sometime miracles are what I call them. But the outcome for me wasn't what I had hoped for. There wasn't sufficient evidence to support a prosecution for either account. And that was hard.
Really fu***ng hard.
Prior to making the report, I did something that took courage. Something I needed to do for myself. I reached out to S on Facebook. I told him what I remembered. I told him what I had carried. I told him that I had never been able to forget his actions that night. Of course, he couldn't remember. But I told him I was going to report it. And strangely enough…just knowing that he knew was satisfying.
Because for so many years, I had carried the shame. I carried the memories. I carried the silence. And in that moment, it felt like I had finally handed some of that shame back to the person it belonged to.
It was his. Not mine.
But with G, it was different. I wasn't lucky enough to put even a little fear into him. I wasn't able to make him wonder whether there might be consequences for what he did. I wanted him to feel what I had felt. I wanted him to understand what his actions had done. I wanted him to experience the fear of possible prosecution. I wanted him to carry the shame and humiliation that I had carried for so many years. Along with being bullied, called a liar, vial names. My reputation spread by girls and laughed at by boys. It was relentless. It wasn't G's fault. It was mine of course. I baited him. I lured him to me. Because that is what I do according to my peers. That was just as painful as the r**e itself. But G never even knows he's been reported. My desire to shame him, that wasn't going to happen. And I had to sit with that. I drove home after speaking with the detectives and cried. I became angry. I became sad. I became frustrated. I felt powerless. I felt so many things.
But there was one thing I did not become.
A victim living with shame. No fu***ng way. That younger girl did what she needed to do to survive. She endured something she never should have had to endure. And she did it alone. And she did it scared. And she did it hating herself. But she isn't alone anymore.
Because I am here now. I became her voice. Her protector. Her advocate. Her biggest fan.
Her hero. And I am learning to walk beside her instead of abandoning her.
This experience has also brought me back to something I've spoken about throughout my years working with young people. When I was a Headspace counsellor and a high school social worker, I made sure the young people I worked with understood something incredibly important:
Silence is not consent.
Not hearing "no" does not mean you have heard "yes." Consent needs to be freely given. And someone can freeze ( ). Someone can become frightened ( ) . Someone can feel unable to speak ( ). Someone can say yes because they are afraid of what might happen if they say no. Especially when they've learned from an early age that they're supposed to keep someone else happy ( ).
Don't cause a scene. Don't create drama. Don't upset him. Don't make trouble. Be a good girl.
Looking back, I can understand how those messages shaped my own ability to speak up. How do you find your voice when you've been taught that using it could make things worse? How do you say STOP when you've learned that keeping the peace is safer?
This is why conversations about consent, coercion, boundaries and safety matter so much. We need to teach our children that their voice matters. That their body belongs to them. That they don't owe anyone compliance. That they are allowed to say no. And that silence, freezing or being unable to fight back is never an invitation for someone else to continue.
And here's the part of my story that matters most to me now.
I am still healing.
I'm still working through the emotions that come up. And they do come up. Anger. Grief. Sadness. Fear. Relief. Powerlessness. Strength. Some days I feel like I've got this. Other days something catches me completely off guard. And that's okay. Because healing isn't a once-off event. It isn't, "I've dealt with that, so I'm done." Trauma doesn't work like that. We can work through something and then find another layer underneath it. We can feel an emotion we thought we'd already processed. We can be triggered by something we didn't expect. We can move forward and still have days where we need to stop and feel. That's not failure.
That's healing.
And this is why I believe so deeply in the work I do. Because I am not standing on the other side of trauma telling you how to heal. I'm walking the path too. I'm walking the walk. If I encourage and support the people who choose me to walk beside them on their healing journey…but refuse to do that same thing for myself…
what kind of thera**st would I be?
No. That is not me. I don't need to have everything perfectly healed to support someone else. But I do need to be willing to keep doing my own work. To keep turning toward the parts of myself I'd rather avoid. To keep listening when my body tells me something needs attention. To keep giving my younger self the voice, protection and compassion she deserved all those years ago. Because I know what it feels like to carry something alone. I know what it feels like to be ashamed of something that was never yours to carry. And I know how powerful it can be when someone finally says:
"I believe you." "It wasn't your fault." "You don't have to carry this alone anymore."
So, if you're reading this and you're carrying something you've never been able to say out loud…I want you to know something. You don't have to tell me your story before you're ready. You don't have to have the words. You don't have to be "fixed." And you don't have to walk this path perfectly.
You just have to take the next step.
Awareness. Curiosity. Safety. Compassion. And slowly, learning to come home to yourself. This is why I do what I do. Not because I've escaped trauma. But because I've learned that trauma does not get to have the final say about who I become. And neither does yours.
And if something in my story has touched something within you…
Maybe you've been carrying something for years. Maybe you're exhausted from pretending you're okay. Maybe you know there are patterns you keep repeating, but you don't understand why.
Or maybe you simply have this quiet feeling that you're ready for something to change. You don't need to have the words. You don't need to know exactly what you need. And you don't need to tell me your whole story.
You can simply reach out. We can start with a conversation. No judgement. No pressure. No expectations. Just a safe space to be heard, to be curious about what's happening beneath the surface, and to begin understanding the parts of you that have been carrying too much for too long. You don't have to walk into healing knowing exactly where the path will lead.
You just need enough courage to take the first step.
And if you're ready…I'll walk beside you. Jo💛Safe to Feel Again

I Don't Just Talk About Healing. I Live It.
I've been sitting with whether to share this. There are only 3 or 4 people who have known this part of my story. I never told my family. Because I was raised to believe that when things went wrong…
it was my fault.
And when you grow up believing that, you learn to stay quiet about the things you believe you'll be punished for, taunted and teased about, or the things where you fear no one will be on your side.
You learn not to make a scene. You learn not to cause trouble. You learn to keep the peace. You learn to carry things alone. Recently, I found myself brave enough to report historical sexual assault that happened to me when I was a young teen and a young adult. Two different incidents. Two different perpetrators. One was a work colleague's husband, who I'll call S. The other was a man I'll call G, who was an adult when I was a young teenager. Two very different periods of my life. And I had absolutely no idea where making those reports would lead me.
I'd never walked this path before.
The detectives who worked with me were incredibly supportive and compassionate. My reports will remain on file. One of the Detectives let me know that she has had one person confess to their actions. Sometime miracles are what I call them. But the outcome for me wasn't what I had hoped for. There wasn't sufficient evidence to support a prosecution for either account. And that was hard.
Really fu***ng hard.
Prior to making the report, I did something that took courage. Something I needed to do for myself. I reached out to S on Facebook. I told him what I remembered. I told him what I had carried. I told him that I had never been able to forget his actions that night. Of course, he couldn't remember. But I told him I was going to report it. And strangely enough…just knowing that he knew was satisfying.
Because for so many years, I had carried the shame. I carried the memories. I carried the silence. And in that moment, it felt like I had finally handed some of that shame back to the person it belonged to.
It was his. Not mine.
But with G, it was different. I wasn't lucky enough to put even a little fear into him. I wasn't able to make him wonder whether there might be consequences for what he did. I wanted him to feel what I had felt. I wanted him to understand what his actions had done. I wanted him to experience the fear of possible prosecution. I wanted him to carry the shame and humiliation that I had carried for so many years. Along with being bullied, called a liar, vial names. My reputation spread by girls and laughed at by boys. It was relentless. It wasn't G's fault. It was mine of course. I baited him. I lured him to me. Because that is what I do according to my peers. That was just as painful as the r**e itself. But G never even knows he's been reported. My desire to shame him, that wasn't going to happen. And I had to sit with that. I drove home after speaking with the detectives and cried. I became angry. I became sad. I became frustrated. I felt powerless. I felt so many things.
But there was one thing I did not become.
A victim living with shame. No fu***ng way. That younger girl did what she needed to do to survive. She endured something she never should have had to endure. And she did it alone. And she did it scared. And she did it hating herself. But she isn't alone anymore.
Because I am here now. I became her voice. Her protector. Her advocate. Her biggest fan.
Her hero. And I am learning to walk beside her instead of abandoning her.
This experience has also brought me back to something I've spoken about throughout my years working with young people. When I was a Headspace counsellor and a high school social worker, I made sure the young people I worked with understood something incredibly important:
Silence is not consent.
Not hearing "no" does not mean you have heard "yes." Consent needs to be freely given. And someone can freeze ( ). Someone can become frightened ( ) . Someone can feel unable to speak ( ). Someone can say yes because they are afraid of what might happen if they say no. Especially when they've learned from an early age that they're supposed to keep someone else happy ( ).
Don't cause a scene. Don't create drama. Don't upset him. Don't make trouble. Be a good girl.
Looking back, I can understand how those messages shaped my own ability to speak up. How do you find your voice when you've been taught that using it could make things worse? How do you say STOP when you've learned that keeping the peace is safer?
This is why conversations about consent, coercion, boundaries and safety matter so much. We need to teach our children that their voice matters. That their body belongs to them. That they don't owe anyone compliance. That they are allowed to say no. And that silence, freezing or being unable to fight back is never an invitation for someone else to continue.
And here's the part of my story that matters most to me now.
I am still healing.
I'm still working through the emotions that come up. And they do come up. Anger. Grief. Sadness. Fear. Relief. Powerlessness. Strength. Some days I feel like I've got this. Other days something catches me completely off guard. And that's okay. Because healing isn't a once-off event. It isn't, "I've dealt with that, so I'm done." Trauma doesn't work like that. We can work through something and then find another layer underneath it. We can feel an emotion we thought we'd already processed. We can be triggered by something we didn't expect. We can move forward and still have days where we need to stop and feel. That's not failure.
That's healing.
And this is why I believe so deeply in the work I do. Because I am not standing on the other side of trauma telling you how to heal. I'm walking the path too. I'm walking the walk. If I encourage and support the people who choose me to walk beside them on their healing journey…but refuse to do that same thing for myself…
what kind of thera**st would I be?
No. That is not me. I don't need to have everything perfectly healed to support someone else. But I do need to be willing to keep doing my own work. To keep turning toward the parts of myself I'd rather avoid. To keep listening when my body tells me something needs attention. To keep giving my younger self the voice, protection and compassion she deserved all those years ago. Because I know what it feels like to carry something alone. I know what it feels like to be ashamed of something that was never yours to carry. And I know how powerful it can be when someone finally says:
"I believe you." "It wasn't your fault." "You don't have to carry this alone anymore."
So, if you're reading this and you're carrying something you've never been able to say out loud…I want you to know something. You don't have to tell me your story before you're ready. You don't have to have the words. You don't have to be "fixed." And you don't have to walk this path perfectly.
You just have to take the next step.
Awareness. Curiosity. Safety. Compassion. And slowly, learning to come home to yourself. This is why I do what I do. Not because I've escaped trauma. But because I've learned that trauma does not get to have the final say about who I become. And neither does yours.
And if something in my story has touched something within you…
Maybe you've been carrying something for years. Maybe you're exhausted from pretending you're okay. Maybe you know there are patterns you keep repeating, but you don't understand why.
Or maybe you simply have this quiet feeling that you're ready for something to change. You don't need to have the words. You don't need to know exactly what you need. And you don't need to tell me your whole story.
You can simply reach out. We can start with a conversation. No judgement. No pressure. No expectations. Just a safe space to be heard, to be curious about what's happening beneath the surface, and to begin understanding the parts of you that have been carrying too much for too long. You don't have to walk into healing knowing exactly where the path will lead.
You just need enough courage to take the first step.
And if you're ready…I'll walk beside you. Jo💛Safe to Feel Again





Address

Yarrawonga, VIC
3730

Website

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when Beyond The Trauma posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Shortcuts

Share

Category