21/06/2026
Why Creating Safety in the Body Matters!
We live in a world that often moves quickly, demands a lot, and doesn’t always give us the space to slow down and feel. Underneath the surface, our nervous system is constantly working - scanning, interpreting, and responding to our environment. Its primary role is simple: keep us safe.
The challenge is… our nervous system is wired to look for danger.
Even when we are no longer in threatening situations, our body can still respond as if we are. A tone of voice, a look, a feeling, a memory - sometimes even something we aren’t consciously aware of - can act as a trigger. When that happens, the nervous system can become “hijacked,” activating our built-in survival responses: fight, flight, or freeze.
These responses are not wrong, they are intelligent, protective systems. But when they become our default way of operating, they can leave us feeling anxious, disconnected, reactive, or stuck.
Where It All Begins
As children, we are not born with the ability to regulate our own nervous system. We rely on our caregivers to help us feel safe; through their presence, their attunement, their consistency. Up until around the age of seven, our nervous system is learning what safety feels like through these relationships.
When we are raised in a nurturing environment with regulated, reliable adults, we begin to internalise a sense of safety. But if that environment felt unpredictable, overwhelming, or lacking in emotional support, we are often left to navigate the world with a nervous system that learned to protect rather than to feel safe.
And as children, we simply don’t have the capacity to self-regulate - so we adapt.
Why Childhood Memories Matter in Healing
Our nervous system doesn’t operate purely from logic; it runs on felt experiences and stored memories, especially from childhood.
These early memories; both the ones that felt good and the ones that felt difficult - form the foundation of how our body understands safety, connection, and threat.
When we begin a healing journey, we don’t just work with the mind… we work with the body’s memory.
• The challenging memories help us understand where our protective responses were formed
• The positive memories - moments of joy, safety, freedom, play, become essential resources
We need both. Because while the difficult memories show us what shaped our survival, the positive ones give us access to what safety actually feels like in the body.
A Personal Memory of Safety
For me, one of those memories lives in Sydney, when I was around four to six years old.
My parents were hosting a dinner party. I remember the dining table filled with three other couples, my dad sitting at the head of the table. My siblings and I had already been fed and were ready for bed. I was in my pyjamas, holding a book. I loved to read.
I walked into the dining room, and without hesitation, my dad invited me up onto his lap. His arm wrapped around me in a way that felt deeply secure, held, and reassured. Even while he was engaged in conversation and entertaining his guests, there was space for me there.
I sat on his lap and read. I remember feeling safe, supported, and important.
Back then, children didn’t typically belong at the table when adults were entertaining. But in that moment, I did. I was included. I mattered.
I have a photo from around that time, and whenever I see it, that memory comes back instantly; not just as a thought, but as a feeling in my body.
This is a memory I’ve consciously worked to keep alive within me.
And now, when I reconnect with it, something shifts almost immediately. Within seconds, a sense of safety returns - a warm, expansive feeling of love spreads through my body. My breath softens. My body settles. There’s a sense of ease, of coming home to myself.
Why This Matters for Healing
When we are able to reconnect with these kinds of memories, we’re not just remembering - we are retraining the nervous system. The body begins to move out of survival mode and into a state of safety and connection.
In this state:
• The breath naturally deepens
• The heart rate slows
• Muscles soften and release tension
• The mind quietens
• We feel more present, open, and connected
This is often referred to as a regulated nervous system state - where the body no longer feels under threat.
And this is where healing happens.
Because when the body feels safe, it no longer needs to stay guarded. It becomes more receptive, more adaptable, and more capable of processing and integrating past experiences.
This is why reconnecting with positive childhood memories is not just a “nice idea” - it’s integral. They give us a direct pathway back to safety.
And when we can access that feeling, even briefly, and return to it again and again, we begin to build a new foundation within the body - one that supports calm, connection, and resilience.
An Invitation to Reconnect
Together, we’ll explore how to anchor that felt sense of safety in your body - so it becomes something you can return to, not just understand.
I’m offering a 45-minute online session where you’ll be guided to reconnect with a childhood memory - a time where you felt happy, free, supported, or safe. Together, we’ll begin to anchor that felt sense of safety back into your body, so it becomes something you can return to in everyday life.
This isn’t about forcing change… it’s about allowing your body to remember what it already knows.
If you feel called to explore this, send me a message - I would love to connect with you. Jo 💛 Safe to Feel Again
A sweet little photo of me at kindergarten, around four years old (pre-school in NSW), and another from just a few years ago with my absolute favourite person in the world - my grandson, Declan.
He used to come and stay with me for a week during the school holidays while I was working at a high school. Together, we created such beautiful memories… the kind I hope he can one day look back on and feel deeply - filled with love, warmth, and happiness. 💛
