02/09/2026
We regularly open our doors to single men. We love the dynamic it brings - the raw desire, the hunt and the need for connection. But after every event we receive emails from a very specific type of guy.
The message is always the same. He feels frustrated. He feels left on the sidelines, complaining that couples were closed off and that there were no „available“ women left for him. He feels shut out of the „circle of consent.“
I see the genuine loneliness behind these words. That is human. But the heavy energy behind it is exactly why you went home alone.
Let’s look at that language for a second: „Bystanders. Available women. Shut out.“
This is the language of a consumer, not a creator. When you walk into a somatic space looking for a guaranteed transaction and viewing women as resources on a shelf, your nervous system broadcasts neediness. Every person in the room feels it - and it shuts them down instantly.
What you are completely missing is play.
Intimacy is not a contract you sign during a workshop and cash in at the bar. We want the hunting vibe. We want that desire. But it has to be conscious, respectful and deeply playful.
Play means you can handle ambiguity. It means you can flirt, receive a „no“, smile and keep your center. It means you bring value and energy to the room rather than just waiting to extract s*x from it.
If you are coming to our spaces as a single man, ask yourself before you walk in: Who am I being tonight? What am I adding to this room?
Stop waiting for the environment to guarantee you a connection. Drop the victimhood, get out of your head, drop into your body and learn how to actually play.