09/01/2026
There are smiles in these photos, but there was so much pain behind them.
In these first two photos, you see me laughing, smiling, and sharing funny moments with my best friend at a friendβs wedding. You see happiness. You see life happening.
But moments after these were taken, I experienced my second miscarriage.
Suddenly, my best friend wasnβt just standing beside me at a wedding. She was holding space for me as I experienced the loss of my baby in real time. She went to the bathroom with me, made sure there was no blood on my dress, and helped me process something I was desperately trying to hide from everyone around me.
A few days later, blood work confirmed what my heart already knew.
My husband and I had lost our second baby.
And then, that same week, I went to a branding shoot for my doula business β one that was also going to have some pregnancy announcement photos taken.
My photographer knew. She knew the heartbreak I was carrying, and somehow, in the middle of it all, she made me laugh. She made me feel beautiful when I felt completely broken inside.
And then thereβs this photo of the three of us.
A photo that holds both pain and beauty.
Because sometimes both can exist at the same time.
You can laugh while your heart is breaking.
You can feel beautiful while feeling shattered.
You can be carrying something no one else can see.
Iβm so grateful for two incredible women who held space for me in completely different ways β Josie, my best friend, who was my rock through the loss, and Magna, my amazing photographer, who helped me find laughter and beauty in the middle of heartbreak.
Two women from different parts of my life, both reminding me that I donβt have to choose between beauty and pain.
There was grief here.
But there was also love, friendship, laughter, and beauty.
And I think Iβm finally learning that Iβm allowed to live in both. π€
