06/03/2026
👇This post is for those of us who have tried the "five simple steps" on social media, only to find ourselves wondering why change feels more complicated than promised.
When reality doesn't align with how we're told to measure success, growth, personal development, or healing - despite our best efforts at determination, self-discipline, and willpower - a more nuanced perspective can sometimes offer reassurance.
Oh, social media also tells us that the habits we are looking to change are often not bad habits, but survival strategies:
Overeating, doom scrolling, addictions, conflict seeking, conflict avoidance, perfectionism, shutting down, and on and on.
So we’re all clear on that. The steps are still not easy.
In fact, there is no number of "easy" steps that can shift a trauma response through sheer willpower and understanding.
Real change is not dramatic. Sometimes, it's barely visible.
👉It comes on a whole spectrum - a week in which you hit the dust, have a breakthrough, collapse again; a better night of sleep; a good day for digestion; more tolerance for touch, eye contact, intimacy; less lashing out.
The healing journey is not linear or short. But it consistently offers glimpses of the nervous system testing for safety and finding a bit more than before. Glimpses of us being able to hold both difficulty and ease.
Finding more safety in joy, connection and sensory experiences is something that no simple-step program can truly provide. 🩵