05/24/2026
Sitting in the middle of the forest, litterally and figuratively, today I realized something important.
My father’s passing 2 years ago was not only the loss of my dad.
It became the fault line of my life.
Because after he passed, so much else shifted too:
Identity.
Love.
Family dynamics.
Friendships.
Home.
Security.
Beliefs.
Versions of myself I could no longer carry authentically.
I’ve spent the last couple of years making difficult choices, leaving behind what no longer aligned, trying to rebuild a life that felt more honest, more alive, more me.
But no one really talks about how painful transformation can be once the adrenaline wears off.
How lonely it can feel.
How grief doesn’t only mourn people — it mourns timelines, identities, futures, and versions of ourselves too.
And sometimes you sit in the middle of all that forest of change wondering:
Was any of it worth it?
I think today reminded me that grief is not linear.
And neither is healing.
Some days I feel strong, joyful, hopeful and deeply connected to life.
Other days, the weight of everything I’ve lost and changed catches up to me all at once.
But maybe that doesn’t mean I’m broken.
Maybe it means I’ve been carrying more than I realized.
So today I’m trying to meet myself with a little more compassion instead of shame.
One breath.
One day.
One version of myself at a time.
