06/16/2026
This past weekend I had the opportunity to attend the “Seeing clearly through the self” silent meditation retreat held by Stream Yoga + Meditation.
With an excited willingness I handed over my phone Thursday, and stepped into the sacred space of honourable silence, meditation, and dharma talks.
I’ve been on multiple retreats in my life, I’ve even hosted some, all lovely of course, and with good intention, but this was different.
This was not looking at the phone, taking pictures of the delicious food, reading a good book, or journaling my life onto a page. In fact, we were encouraged to do non of that.
This was a time to not have an escape from the corners of my mind, a time to sit through the uncomfortable, to actually witness the repetitive negative dialogue and assumptions that carry on in my head.
At times I cried, I was angry, annoyed, judgemental. I had no one to blame, nowhere to turn my attention away to, nowhere to run.
This was a great gift I’ve been given 🥹
Since my life changed drastically in 2022, I knew I was swimming in grief, sadness, fear and even hate. The road rage, the resentment, the ego. Slowly I’ve come back to yoga practices and integrating self care, and forgiveness, but this experience was a game changer.
I got to see, feel, and acknowledge that my inner dialogue, outward negativity, impatience towards others and situations in every day life were stemming from a deep seed of suffering. A clinging to preferences, striving, and running on empty.
I’m not going to say it was easy, or that I’m untouched by the human experience all of a sudden. But I am astonished at how much compassion grew from going deep within and sharing this experience in community.
I actually reintegrated into “normal life” with patience, and a relief that the suffering is not mine to hold onto. That what another person may do directly or indirectly “to me” is not personal. It’s a reflection of their own suffering. Something that we all experience and have the capacity to understand 🥹🙏
A light has been reignited within my heart ❤️
-phew 😮💨 lol and I’m excited to continue on this path ✨beyond grateful
